Memories sinkin', deep in, leakin' in my mine,
All of the time tried to forget you,
Thought I could get you to be mine.
Memories sinkin', deep in, leakin' in my mine,
All of the time I can't forget to,
Try to forget you in my mine
Buried alive here inside a nightmare,
Living a life where you're gone,
There is no light here,
It will be light-years until my mind's clear.
I did it all for love,
I did it all
I'd trade it all for you
I'd trade it all
But what do I care for?
What are you here for?
If you're not there when I call?
I was not careful,
And that's all your fault,
You let me fall
My Mine - Jhene Aiko
Carmen P.O.V
"I can't believe you're moving that far, taking my grand baby away from me, you better model your behind off girl" my mom said lecturing me because of my final decision.
"I know mama but its for the best, Chae got an apartment up there and i can stay with her until this whole thing takes off, and you know she works from home and i know she doesn't mind watching after Crissy for me."
My mom shook her head in disapproval, Chae was my cousin and her mother was my mom's older sister. They never really talk like that but me and Chae are the closest when it comes to each other. Through every relocation and even disagreements we stayed close.
"You just make sure you take of yourself, i don't wanna have to come up there ... you know you couldv'e killed yourself in that car accident running away from that no good-" I quickly cut my mother off, i didn't want her to say anything about that accident. I hate talking about it, i never even mentioned it to Chresanto.
"Mom .. It wont happen again, Okay ? Now please Just help me finish packing." I said letting out a frustrated sigh.
"Are you going to let him see Crissy?" she asked in a curious manner.
"No mom .. I don't want anything trifling to be a father to my child, besides he has another child and wife to be concerned with."
Chresanto P.O.V
"She must mean a hell of a lot if you ran after her Chresanto !" Marissa yelled getting all up in my face.
"Baby .. I was just making sure she was alright, i've put her through a lot." Rubbing my temples i went upstairs to pick up Crying Creah out of her crib .
"Don't walk away from me, you better have a better excuse than that, if you want me to stop tal-" I cut her off with a kiss to shut her up. All she does is bitch and complain all day.
"It's nothing, Okay ? I love you only so don't worry about it, I'm going to work i'll see you later. I handed her Creah and kissed them both on the forehead and grabbed my keys.
I hated lying to Marissa, telling her I only loved her, i mean .. I do love her but my love for Carmen is stronger, something that'll never go away. I've been with that girl since i was 15 years old. I knew she was special when i first met her.
*Flashback*
I was walking down the hall to my 3rd period class with my boys by my side laughing at Ray as he picked on Jacob about are game of street ball yesterday when i spotted a really short girl with brown mid length shoulder hair and big hazel eyes. She had a schedule in her hand and looked lost as ever.
"Aye uhmm i'll catch up with ya'll later"
"Aight" they said in unison, really not caring.
"Hey ma, need some help finding your classes?" I said looking down at her licking my lips.
"My names not ma .. It's Carmen and i think i can handle myself."
"No need to be feisty, I'm just trying to help, my names Chresanto" I held out my hand for her to shake, she hesitated but then finally shook it.
"Sorry about that, i didn't mean to be rude" she said smiling up at me, "But i'll be more than happy if you showed me around."
*Flashback Over*
I think of that same day, every time I think about Carmen. My life did it a whole 360, of course I was hard to deal with being a teenage boy, but she stayed by my side all that time. And now I'm 20 years old, a grown man, and she was still dealing with the same stuff. If you think about it she has every right to leave, but that doesn't mean I want her to, hopefully she feels the same.
Carmen P.O.V
"Well mom, i think that's last of it." I said taking a glance around my empty room. It was the last of my things that needed to be packed, i felt like i was taking my first step already.
"Wait .. Here's some stuff in the back of this closet." my mom said coming out of the closet holding a box with all the valentines bears Chres got me in middle school and an old picture of us as teenagers. I smiled thinking about some of the times we had.
*Flashback*
"Gooooo Chressss !!" I screamed as he ran towards his victory touchdown. Girls were giving me dirty looks because I was cheering for my boyfriend who was the star quarter back of the team. I wasn't the baddest chick in school, but I was to Chres and that's all that mattered. As soon as he made the touchdown his team ran towards him lifting him in the air, cheering for him. I was too happy.
*later that night*
"You did great baby!" I said kissing him on the cheek as we walked hand in hand down the street.
"Yeah .. Thanks to the support from you, you mean the world to me Carmen." he said stopping in front of me looking me in the eyes. He pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it, showing a small beautiful ring. "I want you to take this promise ring and wear it till the day I make you my wife, i promise to always be there for you and to love you until my last breath."
Tears ran from eyes as he slid the ring on my finger. How could someone care so much about me already, knowing that someday we'll have a future together, most of the time, boys like this only exist in dreams. "I Love You Chresanto August" I pulled him in for a kiss, as he wrapped his strong arms around my waist.
*Flashback Over*
I guess sometimes even when you think it'll be forever, promises are broken. I sealed the box with tape and tossed it down with the others.
"They always say the hottest love has the coldest end. " - Drake
Welp .. that's Chapter 19 ... Next one coming soon . It feels good to almost be done with this book, and i can't wait to start the sequel !
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