"Brian, you really won't believe the news, I know I'm supposed to be in Bangor, but I don't care because I can't keep this a secret from everyone anymore-" I rambled excitedly as I stepped into his house, realizing he was nowhere to be found.
My worry began to creep back up on me, nervous he was a complete mess somewhere.
"-Brian?" I questioned beginning to walk up the steps to his bedroom.
I figured since it was still 8am maybe he'd still be sleeping, because it was completely unlike Brian to keep silent when I came to visit.
The thumping it my chest quickened as I put my hand on the door knob, unable to twist it open because it was locked.
Although I knew I was probably frightened for nothing, I took out the bobby pin from my hair, remembering the old trick I'd learned when I was younger.
I opened the door, gasping in horror at what I found.
"Brian?" I saw him lying on the floor of the bedroom tangled up in his covers, looking nowhere as peaceful as he usually was when he rested.
I rushed to his side, noticing the various open bottles of alcohol beside his bed and pills and began to panic.
It reminded me of what he had done before years ago when I had first moved to London. The only difference this time when I checked to see if he was breathing, he wasn't.
My heart dropped, unable to fully process what was happening. Tears streamed without restraint from my eyes, becoming absolutely overwhelmed with emotion.
I picked up the phone shakily, immediately phoning the emergency responders with my shaky hands. I could barely think straight as I sat down with Brian in my arms, unable to calm myself down. I didn't want to admit to myself what I knew happened, I couldn't believe Brian was actually gone.
_____________
The police had shown up and confirmed my deepest most truly horrifying fear, Brian had passed away from the mixture of the alcohol and the lethal amount of barbiturates in his system.
"Alright Mrs. Harrison, we called your husband and he says they're all coming down now." One of the officers came to inform me as I sat down on Brian's couch in the living room staring off into space, complete devastation consuming me as I reminisced about the time I had spent with Brian.
It felt like the last bit of true family I had left just completely vanished from me, the incomprehensible amount of depression weighing heavily down on me.
I was worried of what kind of stress it would put on the baby, becoming even more saddened of the realization he would never meet the baby at all.
"Did your uncle seem, strange at all in the past few weeks?" The officer questioned me in a soft voice, knowing how fragile a state I was in.
"I called him yesterday a-and," my voice quivered. "I think even then he was on his pills, or drunk, or both." My mind flashed back to the last time I had spoken to him, trying not to think about the events that proceeded.
"Anything to make you think he was capable of ending his own life?" The officer asked, causing my expression to contort into sheer anger.
I stood up abruptly, filled with fury toward the man who knew nothing about Brian at all.
"You think he meant to kill himself?" I scoffed taken aback by such insane thoughts, knowing Brian would never purposefully do something like this to himself. He just had just a terrible addiction, like many other people these days.
Without another word I strode away from the officer to the kitchen where no policemen were, too upset to even try to speak to anyone.
They had no sympathy for me, they only wanted to get their jobs done so they could go home to their own families. I began to envy every policemen that poked and prodded around my uncles belongings, jealous that they had probably no idea in the slightest what it was like to have the last bit of true family ripped from them instantaneously.
"Poppy." I heard the voice of Eric Clapton, one of George's mates outside of the group call me.
"Eric?" I asked with wonderment as he walked up and brought me into a comforting embrace.
"George told me what happened, and told me to make sure you're okay until he gets here. You alright?" He explained, leaning back and placing his hands on either sides of my face to scan over my features.
"I'm okay." I nodded with a sniffle not wanting to speak on the subject that was awfully raw, watching as his eyes bore into mine unbelieving of my words, but not questioning me further.
"Did George tell you how long he thinks he'll be before he gets here?" I asked removing Eric's hands from my face with a slight grin.
"It should only be a few hours, for now let's just relax yeah?" He spoke trying to cheer me up with a grin, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and leading me over to a couch to sit down.
As he began to let go of me once we had been seated, I pulled myself into his chest and wept, unable to hold back the intense emotion I was feeling. It took him a moment to react before rubbing his hands along my back soothingly.
"I should've never left London." I cried out into his chest.
"It's not your fault Poppy, don't beat yourself up about it." He whispered softly.
I looked up at him, wiping away my tears from my eyes.
"I'm just going to miss him so much." I bit back a sob, looking down to my hands.
"You won't be alone through this." Eric grabbed gently onto my hands, causing me to look back up to him again surprised slightly.
"-You'll have George," he gulped nervously as I stared at him intently, "and the lads, me, your father," he smiled delicately.
I nodded to myself, having been in need of that reminder.
______________
"Poppy." I felt myself being shaken awake lightly.
I woke up on the couch to see George's face as he crouched down beside me, realizing it was late and all the police were probably gone by now.
"George." My face saddened sitting up right and bringing him into a tight embrace, feeling him return it with the same amount of urgency.
"I'm so sorry love." He sounded more sorrowful that ever before, knowing how much Brian meant to me.
"I don't know what I'm going to do without him." I felt like crying but was unable to shed any tears.
"Poppy." I heard the voice of Cynthia sympathize from behind George and I on the other side of the couch.
I turned to see Cynthia, Jane, Maureen, John, Ringo, Paul and Eric all standing there waiting to come over.
"What d'you say we go home and get some rest?" George asked me, causing me to turned back to him as he got up from his crouching position, holding out his hands to help me up.
"I think that's best." I sighed shakily.
The rest of them all came over to hug me and speak their sorrows about our loss.
"I'm sorry the trip had to be cut short like this." I apologized to everyone, immediately being told by them I shouldn't be apologizing.
"Don't be silly Poppy, Eppy was family to all of us." John nodded in hopes to ease my mind.
I nodded underneath George's arm, leaning my head into his chest.
We soon all split up to leave to our houses, and it was a rather sleepless night for me, tossing and turning with flashes of Brian throughout my mind until sunrise the next morning.
I wasn't sure how I would be able to go on. There was now more than me to think about now however, I had to make sure my baby was healthy and I know Brian would've wanted me to continue on and live my life to it's absolute fullest, so it was that I intended to do.
