Should I be doing this?
It doesn't feel right.
But I know what she would say, "Go. Have fun. You deserve it. You deserve a lot of things. One day, I'm going to give you those things."
I took out my rented tuxedo from the closet.
I put it on.
I looked at the mirror.
I looked at my handkerchief.
Material from her dress.
I went downstairs.
I saw the little shrine my mom made of Ashley.
Pictures of her, pictures of us, pictures of our families.
Her favorite candle, Mango Salsa, illuminated it.
Her favorite flower, the rose, surrounded it.
I kneeled by it.
I prayed.
I prayed to her.
I prayed knowing that she wasn't hurting anymore.
Knowing she was in a better place.
I watched my mom look at the shrine.
She wiped a tear away.
"She would still want you to go. She would want you to have fun." She said.
"I know, I know. She also said I deserved everything." I said.
"She wasn't wrong," she said, "that girl broke her back making sure you were satisfied."
"I just wish I could've done the same." I whispered.
"But you did. She was so happy with you. You two were a match made in Heaven." She said.
"Too bad the other half is already in Heaven." I said.
"She's in a better place." My mom whispered.
