I pulled up to her house.
Nothing's changed.
Her car was still in her spot.
Her lawn was freshly mowed.
I walked up the front steps.
I gently knocked on the door.
Her mom answered.
That wasn't the same woman I knew.
It looked like she had her life sucked out of her.
She had mascara stains and was clutching a tissue.
"Drew. Please come in." She said.
We sat at their kitchen table.
"I'm a day late, but I brought her corsage." I said handing her the plastic container.
In it, was a blue and black ombre rose.
She went to the refrigerator.
"Here's your boutineer." She said handing me a plastic container with a navy blue rose.
"You can go to her room if you wish. I've been in there a few times. Just to pray." She said.
"Thank you." I responded.
I walked up the wooden stairs.
I slowly opened her door.
Her dog came running towards me.
His bed was in here.
His bed was never here.
I guess he misses her too.
He sat by my feet.
I scratched his ears.
"I know. I miss her too." I said.
I walked in.
Everything was the same.
Her unmade bed.
The pills spilled on her desk.
The noose.
The noose still on her ceiling fan.
I walked into her bathroom.
Blood stained the vainty.
A mixture of weed, cigarette smoke, and water vapor filled the air.
More pills were spilled on the vainty.
I opened the drawers.
Filled with makeup or vape pods.
I opened her bedside draw.
It was filled with different pills and cigarettes.
I opened her closet.
I saw my hoodie.
I shouldn't touch anything, but I can't help it.
I grab it.
I smell it.
It smells like her.
I hug it.
I walk over to her desk.
I wake her computer up.
On it, was a finished collage of us.
It was all our pictures in a heart.
I read the small notebook beside it.
Happy five years. Thank you for treating me like the princess Riley is. I don't deserve you.
Yours truly,
Ashley Josefina Martinez
I kneeled by her chair. I squeezed the hoodie.
I cried.
"I love you!" I screamed.
"You hear me? I love you! You're gone! Gone forever! Please just know I showed you more love than anyone in this world!" I cried.
