ABC

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I sat there with wide eyes bouncing from one figure to another. Their words didn't have any meaning at the time but I did know they were harsh. I finger brushed my baby dolls hair still all in the adult's mouth, I didn't know what exactly had my attention but I was lingering on every word. My mother turned around and looked at me with teary eyes, my eyebrows knitted together as I immediately starting thinking about what I could've done to make her cry. 

Daryl looked over at me with hard eyes and sighed before grabbing my mother's arm leading her to their bedroom. Once I heard the old squeaky door close I slid out of my raggedy mary janes and rose up from the couch making sure to tiptoe extra quietly to the room door. I trapped my hand between my ear and the door as I eavesdropped. Somehow it made it sound like I was still in the room with them. I started listening so hard I had to tell myself to breathe again when I finally got myself together again I really stared ear hustling. 

"Rose do you want to get out the hood? or do you want to be another broke Spanish chick that half-way speaks English!" Daryl semi-yelled. Even though I couldn't see inside I could almost paint a picture of him screaming in her facing. 

I heard her sigh then sniffle."Why the fuck you always got to talk to me like that huh ?! I'm not some dumb broad! I have goals and ambitions!" 

"And who you think helping you with that? me! me! Me and my money are making you into the person you want to be! I am your support system and most of all your husband! fuck out my face!" 

"That is my child!"

"And now you are pregnant with mine!" By this time they were full on yelling at each other. 

"Why are you doing this to me," My mother asked. I could tell she wanted to cry by the shakiness in her voice. "She's only five years old. she's my baby. mine!"

"A five-year-old with a different daddy than the one in your stomach. Now I don't understand why you're being so damn stupid. Your sister said she would take her so she would still be in the family and on top of that ill pay her something every two weeks to take care of her. I would even give her to someone in my family. You're making shit way too hard. Listen, baby, it's either me and mine or her. simply put I won't raise another man's kid." 

The heavy footsteps coming closer to the door was my signal to jet back to the couch. I kept my eyes on the floor and resumed dragging my fingers through my dolly surprise doll. As the footsteps got closer everything in me wished they belonged to my mother but I knew I was sadly mistaken when I felt a heavy hand rub down my back. I kiss on my neck then on my ear had me ready to throw up everywhere but I remained focused on the floor and my doll.

Daryl kissed me on my ear once more then whispered in my ear."I win baby girl. You should've continued to play our game and you could've stayed." 

I looked up at him with a smug face not daring to drop a tear, wiggling off the couch I stood on my feet and walked to the direction of my mother. Once I saw I was a good distance from him I turned on my heels and looked at him. I starred at him staring back at me with an odd smile on his face, I sucked my teeth and said: "man I hate you". Not bothering to wait for a response I took a couple more steps and pushed open the door. 

My mother sat on the bed with her head on her pillow. Her face was as red as a tomato and her breathing was uneven. I closed the door behind me and climbed in the bed next to her.

"Mommy is the baby okay"

"She's okay baby"

"Mommy are you okay" She blinked a couple times before she sat straight up in the bed. I mimicked her actions while looking her dead in the eyes. I absolutely adored everything about my mother, from her dark almond eyes to her full lips even her mole under her right eye, she was stunning. 

She raised my hand up to her lips and gently kissed it."Its nothing mommy cant handle okay? now let's get you washed up for dinner"

The next few weeks was normal, nothing too spectacular happened until the day we were moving until our new apartment. I was super bummed out about the whole thing because that meant I had to leave all my friends in the projects and find some new ones. I hugged all of my friends one last time and climbed into the car. I looked at the cars and peoples as we drove by them and cheesed, I was so excited about having my own bathroom.

We drove a couple more minutes and pulled into the parking lot of east river housing projects. I unhooked my seat belt and got out the car when I realized everybody else was doing the same.

"Mama we going to see Tia," I said jumping up and down. She stayed silent and grabbed my hand. We rode the elevator to the ninth floor then stepped out. We shared the same face as the strong smell of piss hit our nose. My aunt stood at the end of the hallway with her arms open, when I ran over to her she scooped me up and attacked me with kisses.

My aunt my mother and I talked about how my school life was going when Daryl stepped off the elevator with some luggage. I noticed my aunts face dropped when she saw him, She crossed her arms and said a dry "Hi" after my mom made me it obvious. She grabbed my stuff and walked inside. 

My mom bent down to the best of her ability and whispered "I will always love you and remember everything I have done is to keep you safe okay Mija" She stood up straight and looked at Daryl.

"You're only staying here for a little while after your mom has the baby then you can come back," He said when that ugly smirk on his face.

"We promise" My mom added." I love you, baby, see you in a couple days" 

I realized I wasn't going to see my mother in a couple days and started having an anxiety attack. I started screaming in the middle of the hallway. My mother turn back around and grabbed my arm.

"Aaron Cattleya, cut it the fuck out girl! It's only a couple days hush up! Look do something for mommy ok? Let's play pretend I'm now aunty Rosalia and Aunt Lela is your mommy ok? if you be a good girl when we come back you can get a whole bunch of toys ok? Please be good for me. now go in the house" 

I nodded my head and walked towards the door, I looked back at my mom and shut the front door. 

And that one of the last few times I saw my biological mom.




HAPPPPPY NEW YEAR BIHHHHHHHH

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