then he kissed me - fack (sequel)

nineteen

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jack's pov

i feel empty. i feel like there's nothing to look forward to. it's like i'm not jack anymore. i feel like the old jack died when i found out i had leukemia. i want things to go back to normal but, i know nothing will be normal anymore.

i know finn won't be the same. i know jaeden and wyatt won't be the same. i know sophia, jeremy, and chosen won't be the same. no one will be the same. and that's what i hate about this. that because of me, everyone is going to change. because of my sickness, no one will have a normal life anymore.

i feel like i messed everything up for them. i mess everything up.

"jack, we have to tell you something." jaeden and wyatt came inside the room. their hands intertwined. if they were going to say that they didn't want to be here anymore, i would totally understand them and i would let them go.

"okay so we were thinking that you should be there for our wedding day." jaeden said excitedly. i didn't understand why he was happy because he knows i am not going to be able to go. he knows that in five months, i won't be alive.

"yeah i wish i could go. but jae, you know that iin five months in won't be here anymore." i told him quietly. jaeden looked at wyatt. wyatt just smiled at him.

"well we want you to be in our wedding and that's why we are getting married in two weeks now."

my eyes went wide. i couldn't really process this. they were just getting married, for me?

"guys, you know you don't have to-"

"jack, you helped us plan everything. you should be there. we both agreed on this. we want this and we want you to be there in our big day." wyatt smiled. i had the biggest smile on my face.

'i love you guys so much."

wyatt and jaeden came closer to my bed and pulled me into a big hug.

"we love you too jack." jaeden said.

"have you told the others that your wedding is in two weeks?" i asked.

"no but we are going to tell them later today or tomorrow. don't worry." wyatt said with a calm tone.

i was happy for them but at the same time i felt like i was making them rush things. i didn't want them to rush things. i want them to enjoy things. i want them to take things slow. but due to my sickness, that won't happen. no one will enjoy things anymore. no one will take things slow anymore. like i said before, things won't go back to normal. sophia, jaeden, wyatt,jeremy, and finn will have to live their lives knowing that they lost one of their friends to cancer.

but once i'm gone,

they can start over

right?