W T F

Sharing is Caring

What does Maroon 5 and cows have in common?

THEY BOTH GOT MOOOOOOOOOOOVES LIKE JAGGER

I told that to my cousin and he almost died of cringe. I'm such a good person.

FRRRRRTTTTTTT

PFFFFFFFFFFTP

BRAAAAAAAP

PHHHFTTT

THPPTPHTPHPHHPH 

PRTRTRTRGURTRUFNASUTUTUTUT  

My phone erupted in farts. Yup. I'd changed it so whenever I was messaged, my phone made fart sounds. Mature, I know. 

I'd also done that for my ringtone. One time I'd forgotten to put my phone on silent in class, and I hadn't gotten in trouble because of the mere fact my teacher had thought they were actual farts. It would've been quite humiliating if I actually gave a shit. Good thing I didn't. 

I pulled my phone from my pocket. How'd this random guy get my phone number anyway?

1(234)567-8910: Hey bby

Me: ... who dis

1(234)567-8910: Green doesn't look good on you, Cupcake ;)

Me: why would I be jealous...

1(234)567-8910: Hoes ain't supposed to get jealous, ya know

Yeah, he definitely had the wrong number.

Me: bruh... wut

1(234)567-8910: girl if you don't wanna admit it that's fine- but don't be late 2nite

Hmm I think I'm starting to get it now.

Me: go back to your other hoe

1(234)567-8910: Hannah, sex with you is fucking better than anyone else.

Me: JOKE'S ON YOU HAHAA

1(234)567-8910: wtf Hannah

Me: Roses are red

Violets are blue

I fucked with you

Now you got herpes too

1(234)567-8910: fucking hell

Me: Sharing is caring... gotta keep sharing dem herpes

AHH I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING WHEN I WROTE THIS... BUT THAT'S WHY I WARNED YOU AT THE FIRST CHAPTER... AT LEAST I THINK I DID

ok caps lock overload

*gives you all ice cream* Anyone who can handle this level of stupidity(so dumb it's not even funny) deserves ice cream. Or a popsicle of you're lactose intolerant. And they're free!! *rolls around a freezer*