W T F

Put a Ring on It

This whole book is a total failure, but I relate to it in that aspect so... YAYYYYY

AND SO WE SHALL BEGIN THE TWELFTH CHAPTER... ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO ME, NOTHING 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE A TRUE LOVE 

Chandelier by Sia came on, and I waved my arms around, laughing. "I LOVE THIS SONG!" I swayed drunkenly to the beat of the music.

Some guy swaggered over to me, looking me up and down. The corner of his mouth curled up into a smirk. "Hey, bab- "

I cut him off. "Sorry, I'm married." His gaze immediately went to my left hand.

"I don't see a ring."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I don't want to go around with an expensive ass ring in a setting like this- someone would probably end up stealing it."

He didn't seem convinced. "Oh, really? 'Cause most people still wear their rings even in this type of event... " As he said this, he gestured around the room with drunken people swaying on their feet. All the married couples were wearing rings.

Think, think, think!

My butt itches.

Shut up.

Well... you're at a New Year's Party and there's random confetti everywhere... AHA!

I yanked a shiny silver piece of confetti from the ceiling and tied it around the middle finger on my right hand. Looking up to meet the guy's skeptical gaze, I waved my hand in his face as proof. 

"One... I saw you rip that piece of confetti off the ceiling. Two, it's on the wrong finger. Three, that's not an 'expensive ass ring'... that's a piece of cheap-ass confetti."

"This just says how much I'm trying to avoid you," I deadpanned. 

He winced. "How about we pretend you're actually married."

I nodded. "Okay."

Turning into a different person, he smirked and said in a low voice, "A little adultery never hurt anyone."

"I'm afraid you're incorrect. That'd be bestiality."