the donut dialer [ongoing]

05: ❝do you smoke pot?❞

❝do you smoke pot?❞

lorelei┃parker

❁ ❁ ❁

april 5th, 4:05 p.m.
brrring brrring.

✆ call accepted ✆

"snickers boy, i swear, if this is you–"

"wassup, girl?"

"errrggGHhH."

"what the hell was that? i can't tell if that was a bear or a bird."

"a mixture of both."

"hmm, i like a girl who can bring out their wild side when i'm around."

"can you hear that?"

"what?"

"it's peaches saying she doesn't give a crap about your stupid pick up lines."

"mario is wounded. his heart is shattered into a million, tiny pieces—"

"remind me why you're still calling me while i'm supposed to be working? and why i still pick up? and why you're talking in the third person?"

"damn, you ask a lot of questions. firstly, peaches intrigue the hell out of me. and for your second question, i have absolutely no idea why you pick up. lastly, i talk in the third person because i can, and it's a free country."

"i think that's the most i've ever heard you talk."

"i think this is our longest conversation we've ever had."

"well, my friend tells me i can't block you on this stupid phone, and that i can't ignore your calls because you could possibly be a customer. why? god, why must you curse me?"

"wait, this means you have to talk to me, no matter what!" 

"kill me already."

"sure, with my sexiness."

"you flatter yourself. hey, lemme ask you one more question. please answer honestly."

"i'm listening."

"do you smoke pot?"

"no, i would never do drugs, i am an innocent child—!"

"—because weed be cute together."

"..."

"... how does it feel, snickers boy?"

"wha-"

*b e e p  b e e p *

✆ call disconnected ✆

➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽
"she has an uncanny habit of hanging up on me first..."
➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽ ➽

➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯
"oh my god. i'm so screwed."
➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯ ➯

[a/n]: i know what you're thinking: "emma, why did you update at midnight?"

"emma, why are you working on this and not Surviving Sam?"

"emma, go back to bed."

ladies and gentleman, i am here to tell you that i have no freaking clue why or what im doing rn. i just got home from New York and THIS is what im doing. whaaaaat.

goodnight~

~ emma♡