the donut dialer [ongoing]

24: ❝to be happy is to forget❞

❝to be happy is to forget❞

lorelei┃parker

HOLY SHIZ GUYS ITS BEEN SO LONG WHAT THE FU-

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april 21st, 6:02 p.m.

lorelei sat in the driver's seat of her baby-blue beetle, tapping the steering wheel with her fingertips to the tune of a song she hadn't memorized, but recognized.

every so often, she snuck discreet glances over to parker, who sat in the passenger seat. usually, he was already looking at her. if he wasn't, he was gazing out of the side window with a half-smile playing on his lips.

lorelei gulped, training her eyes on the road to stop herself from lookin at him for too long. she pressed harder on the gas pedal, and felt the smooth hum of the buggy's engine rumble beneath her.

she felt exposed, once again. she felt parker's intense gaze on the side of her face appear and disappear every thirty seconds. it made her feel like he was examine her, just like she did to him, and the feeling that he was pointing out her flaws made her insecure. although, she knew parker wasn't like that in his heart, and the thought comforted her anxiety.  

not looking away from the road, lorelei admitted default shyly, "sorry for forgetting the notes."

parker's head snapped in her direction. he raised a dark brow and said confidently, "don't worry about it. in fact, if i didn't believe you, i would say you just wanted to spend more time with me."

aghastedly, lorelei defied the statement with widened eyes. "that's not true!" she argued half-heartedly and scoffed. "i'm only getting the notes so i won't have to hear it from you later."

"even if that meant sitting in a car with me, alone?" parker insinuated, leaning closer to her with the tiniest of a smug smirk playing on his curled up lips.

lorelei ignored his heated gaze on her and his overwhelming closeness, clenching the steering wheel and biting her cheek. she solely focused on the monotonous road ahead instead. inhaling a deep breath, she murmured, "you smell like crap, get away."

she was lying. again.

slightly offended, parker crossed his brows and frowned. "abercrombie & fitch does not smell like shit," he confirmed to himself with the smallest of a pout.

lorelei glanced over at him, holding back a chuckle. "i was kidding, you idiot."

"oh," the boy realized, scratching the back of his head anxiously with his freckled hand. he felt an odd sensation reach his cheeks and down his neck. "sorry. i just didn't want you thinking i actually smelled like shit. that would be embarrassing."

"park, it's fine. you don't smell like shit."

"speaking of shit, holy shit,"  parker drifted his gaze back to her, his heart clenching in his thrumming chest. he whispered, "you just swore."

lorelei shrugged nonchalantly, feeling the rebel inside her take over. it usually did when she was around parker, or even talking to him on the phone. it felt scandalous and wild, but in a good way. 

she grinned, a mischievous smirk growing. she gazed into his surprised chocolate orbs and whispered in return, "hell yeah, i just did."  her eyes returned to the road.

parker's shocked expression entered her vision once more until it faded into a sly smile. he faced the window ahead of him, pride clear in his eyes. to himself, he murmured, "i'm so lucky."

but lorelei had heard it all, and she couldn't resist taking one more second longer staring at the boy with a mesmerizing smile.

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"welcome to my humble abode,"  lorelei announced, hearing her voice echo throughout the room. she inhaled deeply, comforted by the specific scent of pastries as she was welcomed. there was no anxiety here, no insecurity, and no worriness.

parker followed behind her, examining things as they walked. he pointed at a framed picture, beginning to smile. "is this your dad?" he asked softly. he couldn't stop looking at how beautiful lorelei looked in the picture, in that moment of time. she always looked so beautiful. 

lorelei stopped in her tracks, turning towards him. she looked at the picture parker was now holding between his hands as if it were a child. a small lump formed in the back of her throat, and she replied weakly, "yeah. that's him."

she saw parker staring at her face in the image, and then watched his eyes drift towards her late father. 

she walked towards parker, her hands fumbling with her sleeves. she stopped to take a look at her father, too, seeing the lively glimmer in his eyes and his laugh lines on his cheeks. nostalgia coursed through her veins, and she gulped before speaking.

"dad was always smiling," she helped a little grin herself at the thought. "i remember one day we were in the bakery, and we were making cupcakes. he forgot that the pan was still hot, and he grabbed it with both hands." lorelei laughed and shook her head at the memory.

parker left his eyes to look at her. he watched her laugh through the phone so many times, but he'd never seen her crumble before his eyes. infinite pain and hurt from her father's death were evident in the way she gazed at her father's picture.

sniffling, she continued. "the pan burned him. really bad. there were blood blisters on his palm and fingers, i was so scared,"  lorelei looked at parker. "he had cleaned himself up, and i remember freaking out so much when he sat down like it was no big deal. i tried getting him to the hospital , but he was adamant on staying. he told me to sit down next to him. he held my hands in his bandaged ones and smiled sadly. he said to me, "lorelei, sometimes we need to smile through the pain.  because once it's all over, and people are healed, we know everything is going to be okay, and that should make you smile. people always heal, just like my hands will. it may leave scars of past battles on us, and it may try to tear us down one way or another, but it will not break us. do you understand?""

unknowingly, a tear had escaped her eye. she still smiled.

parker breathed, filled with adoration for the girl in front of him. he raised his hand, brushing his finger to catch the tear. his thoughts ran wild. in this moment, this beautiful moment, the most he ever wanted to do was to kiss her pain away. he wanted to make sure those damn eyes of her never shed any tears ever again.

he restrained from kissing her. she needed comfort, and she needed someone to make her smile.  not to make her confused. 

parker raised his hands to her face, taking the loose ends of her hair and putting them behind her ears. he grinned, watching her chest rise and fall whenever he touched her. his voice was low and hushed, "your dad would be very proud of you. he is."

leaning into his warm hands, lorelei exhaled deeply and relievedly. she closed her eyes, her body calm "he would've loved you, park. i know he would've."

and that was all that parker needed to hear.

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ITS BEEN SO FREAKING LONG I KNOW IM SORRY I TOOK A VACATION AND I HOPE THIS CHAPTER WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO FILL MY ABSENCE AND I HOPE THAT IM GOOD ENOUGH AND MY CONTENT IS GOOD ENOUGH IM SORRY TO KEEP YOU GUYS WAITINGGG

god okay now that that's done with, just a friendly reminder i love you!

hope you enjoyed,

x emma