Purple Heart | Demi Lovato

10

Demi

Wilmer stared up at me with a shocked expression. "Demi... What?"

"I'm pregnant." I stated, staring into his face. "We're having a baby, Wilmer."

He stared at my stomach and as the moments ticked by the cold feeling of dread sunk over me. It crushed through any hope I had of us having a normal life, a quiet life of growing old together and spending the rest of our lives together.

"This doesn't change anything, does it?" I whispered. "You still want to go back?"

Wilmer's eyes didn't meet mine. "It is my duty to my country."

I stepped back from him, his hand falling from my belly to the bed. He finally looked up at me and I shook my head. I couldn't do anything but stand there. I couldn't find the words to say to him. I couldn't convey to him how disappointed I was.

"I wish I never married you." I breathed, and his eyes widened. "You don't know how disappointed in you I am... not just as a husband, I could deal with that. As a man, as a soon-to-be-father..." I clenched my jaw. "As a marine. I couldn't be more disappointed, and I wish I never married you."

Wilmer swallowed hard, his eyes tortured. "Demi..."

"They won't let you go back." I shook my head. "The first time, yes, but this time? You're hurt too bad. You won't ever be able to go back, not like how you want to. But now you've lost me too. You're hurt too bad to go back there, and you hurt me too bad for me to take you back here."

"Demi-"

"No." I softly interrupted. "No, Wilmer. I can't keep doing this. This can't be my life."

"We've made it work before."

"This isn't like before." I was halfway to the door now. "This is... This is unforgivable."

"Demi... Come on, you love me."

I just looked at him sadly. "I always thought that love would be enough. That because I love you with everything I have that we would be alright. That as long as we loved each other more than anything it would work out." I pressed my lips together and shook my head. "But that logic... it doesn't work when one person doesn't love the other more than anything. It doesn't work because I love you more than you'll ever love me. You're married to your job, Wilmer, not me. You're more committed to your country than your wife and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I can't stick around to check. I can't stay in that house, waiting. All I've done our entire relationship is wait. I've waited for you through four deployments, Wilmer. Two of them you barely came back from. I've waited to have kids, to start a family, and now you don't want either of us."

"I do want you! I want to have a family!"

"But you want to be a marine more." I said, shrugging my shoulders sadly. "And you can be that, you can be the martyr marine. But if you want to be that, you can't be with me. You can't be the world's hero and my hero at the same time."

"Please don't leave, Demi. Please... I need you."

I shook my head and turned my back on him, walking towards the door. "If you really needed me... you wouldn't hesitate."

I walked out of the room and out of the ICU, back through the hospital and through the hoarding photographers, this time not sparing any of them even a glance. I got in my car and drove, not heading in any particular direction. I couldn't go back to that house, there were too many memories, too much pain. 

Eventually I decided to crash at Marissa's, calling on my way there.

"Demi? I was just about to call you! I saw the news, how's Wilmer?"