Purple Heart | Demi Lovato

18

Demi

Tonight wasn't supposed to go this way.

Instead of fireworks lighting up the trees, red and blue lights from police cars replaced them. I sat in the same lawn chair the I refused to move from, with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. My eyes didn't leave the tree line, even as I rattled off Wilmer's information to the police officer next to me. They sent group after group into the thick forest to look for him, but I knew if he didn't want to be found, they would never locate him. Once Sobeida went inside for a moment, I told the officer about Wilmer's history with PTSD. The look on his face showed it all- that Wilmer wasn't going to be found by any normal means, so I went back to watching the trees.

Morning came, and this time the police entered the woods with renewed energy. I knew better though. Wilmer spent months in Afghanistan training to be invisible to snipers, cops would need all the luck in the world to catch him.

"Mrs. Valderrama." A man different from the other officers walked over. "My name is Immanuel Marino, I'm a sergeant at our precinct."

"Hi." I whispered, and winced when my voice cracked from not using it.

"My officers told me your husband has a history with mental illness?"

"PTSD." I looked up at him sharply. "He's not crazy."

"I didn't mean it like that." He said gently, and sank into the chair next to me. "Has Wilmer been having issues lately? Did he show any signs that he would have an episode tonight?"

"Last year... the same thing happened with the fireworks; he had panic attacks the entire night. So he had a lot of anxiety coming here,  he said something felt wrong." I shook my head and felt the lump grow in my throat. "I wish I would've listened."

"There's nothing either of you could've done to prevent this without committing him." Sergeant Marino assured me. "Is there anything significant  that happened during his times overseas that caused his PTSD?" I clenched my jaw as the instinct to protect Wilmer from these questions flared up, and he noticed my body language change. "I'm not trying to pry, I'm sorry. I served three tours over there, I know what goes on. I did my research, and I know he got the purple heart. You don't get that from having it easy."

"He..." I swallowed hard. "He had to do it to save his unit. He did it to come home to me."

"I know."

I looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. "They were camped out in the woods..."

As I told the story to the man next to me I couldn't help but feel like I was betraying Wilmer. Still, I gave him credit for keeping his reaction in check.

"Thank you." Sergeant Marino's eyes seemed genuine and he touched my shoulder before walking back over to the next group of officers that were about to start combing through the woods.

I ended up falling asleep in the chair, and I woke up still on the lawn, but now I was laying on a long pool chair, with a pillow under my head and a thicker blanket wrapped around me. Wilmer's mom sat beside me, her nails making slow passes through my hair.

"Alex moved you." She said softly when she noticed my eyes open, referring to Wilmer's cousin. "You didn't look comfortable in the chair."

I didn't answer, but instead went back to searching the tree line. More police officers were here, and they were just beginning to send more into the woods.

"They found a fire, and some burnt animal bones." She rubbed my back. "Which is good, he's alive and eating. They were worried he would be completely out of touch with reality, but he's eating at least."