Talk Less, Write More | Hamilton One-Shots

Love yourself, as long as its not the masturbation kind.

Peggy Schuyler was the lesser known of the Schuyler Sisters, but at least she wasn't COMPLETELY forgotten like Cornelia and Catherine; She had that to be thankful for. But, they aren't known as 'and Cornelia' and 'and Catherine'. Peggy is known as 'and Peggy' or, on good days, 'Aren't you Elizabeth and Angelica's sister?' In those cases, she would smile and nod. Though, being out of the huge spotlight in one of the most powerful and wealthy families in America had its perks. She didn't have to fake her personality; she could be as wild as she wanted. She could get drunk underage and no one would give a shit cause Angelica was just found reading historical books!

With all the perks of being known but forgotten, it had downsides. Unlike Cornelia and Catherine, some people reconized her as a 'Schuyler Sister' and forbade her from doing certain things. Like, for example: wearing short shorts. I mean, come on! If she wanted to wear short shorts, she could wear short shorts. One thing that bothered her most was the fact she had a lot of time to think.

She tried to occupy herself with meaningless tasks. But, when it was all done and late at night, she would think to herself; "Who am I?" This is a question that she knew that everyone asked theirselves at one point or another in their lives, but this question haunts her. She doesn't get the freedom to find out who she is nor have expectations to guide her to be someone. This is why, she is where she is now.

Without the attention from her father and sisters, Peggy tended to hangout with the guys more than the girls, with the fact that she loved her brothers the most out of her entire family. As a child, she enjoyed playing in the mud like the other boys, but was told not to by her mother and father on countless occasions. Eventually, they gave up. She wore boy clothing because her parents didn't want her to dirty her pretty dresses.

At age 14, gender and sexual orientations caused an uproar in America, which caused Peggy to think. She never thought of herself as a girl, persay, more as a developing boy. As a child, she did love wearing dresses, but now she would growl in disgust if she were forced to wear one. She did research and thought. She cried, she learned, she discovered, and she found out who she was.

"John?" She said to her best friend, John Laurens, while sitting in his room. 

"Yeah, Pegleg?" She smiled at the stupid nickname he had given her as a child, though she had nothing against it. 

"Can we be serious for a moment?" He gave her a confused look, knowing she never liked being serious. 

"Oh no, you want to be serious. Are you going to tell me that your a lesbian martian?" He said with a smile. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. A few weeks ago, Peggy told John that she was a lesbian. Her girlfriend Maria was gorgeous. John's boyfriend, Alexander, was a transgendered male. Peggy and Alex had a completely platonic relationship, but Peggy begged Alexander to make sure no one saw their texts for one completely astonishing reason.

"John, would you ever think of me differently?" Peggy asked, looking at her lap. 

John surpressed a laugh, "Peggy, I would only think of you differently cause you are different. But you would never stop being my best friend." She sighed, preparing herself. If Alex can do it, she can too, right? 

"I don't like my body..." She said quietly, but John heard her. 

"You...hate yourself?" Peggy shook her head. 

"No! I hate being a girl! I hate being a 'Schuyler Sister'! Its not who I'm meant to be. I want to be who I want to be! I don't want breasts, curvy body, nor a female expectation I am forced to live by! I want to be...me..." She finished off, tears making their way down her face. John hugged her, rubbing her back. 

"Peggy...who do you want to be?" He asked softly. 

"I want to be me...not a girl, not a boy, not anything...just a human being..." She responded, and John knew how to answer.

"Peggy, don't label yourself. Be whoever! Be a boy, be a girl, be a turtle! I wont love you any less!" He said, trying to put some humor on the situation. It worked. Peggy laughed a little.

"Thank you, John..."

"Its no problem!" He continued, "Always love yourself, as long as its not the masturbation kind." He said, which caused both of them to laugh.

(A/N) THIS IS 773 WORDS. GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! But yeah, I wrote this for a specific reason. I am currently going through a thang where I am not completely comfortable with my body. I used to bind a lot earlier this year and I stopped around summer time. I might start again, but it's not really healthy since I dont have an actual binder. I even have dreams of this. A friend in a dream yelled, "RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOUR GENDER!" And I rose my hand. Ever since then, I have been very confused.

I just want to let anyone know if they are going through this, message me. If you know how to fix this or any advice to give me, message me. I want to help, but I'm not sure how to really help. I can just be a person who is going along with you in this. If you are going through this, you aren't alone. Someone out there loves you and will continue to love you no matter who or what you are. I wish I could say the same for I. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Give me feedback and suggestions down below!