"Thank you for loving me."
❀
No one would think that the Davy Wade would die, much less, kill himself.
He was the epitome of a good person. Some even thought he was the second coming of Christ. But when the shock and confusion of Davy's suicide co...
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t h e p r o b l e m w i t h d a v y
12
I opened my front door to a familiar face, except Dawson did not seem like he usually did. He would be dragging me out the door by now to do something fun, but today was different. I even woke up feeling different. Dawson's eerie presence just proved my point.
"You're needed over at the Wade's," Dawson said, his hands digging into his coat pockets.
"Is it bad?" Was all I could ask, but Dawson didn't even give me an answer. He just clenched his jaw and walked back to the car, waiting for me to follow. I quickly put on shoes and a jacket before following his lead.
The last time I was inside the Wade's house was before Davy died, and back then it looked bright and I felt a sense of home there I thought I'd never feel. Yet now, it was like no one lived there. It was cold. Dull. Like all the colors that filled this house to the brim were faded. When Dawson and I walked in, there were empty boxes stacked upon each other filling the empty rooms.
"Are you guys moving?" I quickly asked, afraid of the answer.
"No, not that I know of." Dawson answered shortly. He picked up one of the boxes and I followed suit as he continued to walk upstairs. Everything suddenly clicked when we were headed for Davy's room. "My mom couldn't handle it anymore. She hasn't been to work since Davy's funeral and my dad hasn't come back from work. Can't blame them though," Dawson started, "they were gonna... hire people to take Davy's things. I wouldn't let them though, I couldn't." The way that Dawson looked made my chest hurt, he looked so tired and helpless I just wanted to tell him it'd be okay. But I wasn't even sure about that either.
"Why am I here Dawson?" I asked quietly as we reached the top of the white staircase. Dawson looked back at me, his eyes telling me something I couldn't comprehend.
"Davy would've wanted it." And that was his answer. I looked over the white bannister, remembering the times Davy would've looked down at me from there as I came in through the front door. I remember looking up and seeing his bright golden face, and his evergreen eyes illuminated with happiness. Or at least, that's what I thought. When we got to Davy's door, I felt my ribs crushing into my lungs. I didn't want to touch the door, I didn't want to be staring at it. I wanted it to disappear, just like Davy did. I heard Dawson take a deep breath and open Davy's door, swinging it open like ripping a band-aid off. It was empty. That's all I could think about. How empty it was, and how cold it seemed, and how my heart was breaking all over again with each step inside. I put the box I was holding onto Davy's bed, looking around at all his picture frames, trophies, and movie posters. The air felt denser, as if gravity itself was pressing down on my chest.
"What do you want to store away?" My voice was heavy and Dawson didn't ignore the crack in my voice because his stormy eyes snapped over to me, waiting for me to burst into frantic tears.
"My mom wants everything gone," Dawson put his own box on the bed and clenched his jaw while taking long, deep breaths. "Which is unfair... just because he offed himself doesn't mean he wasn't ever here," Dawson scoffed, trying to steady his breathing, "She wants to forget him, but hell... its Davy. You couldn't forget him even if you suddenly acquired amnesia." I gave him a small smile and placed my hands on his, squeezing it just the right amount.
"You doing this... all by yourself, Dawson... I wish you didn't have to do it like this." I didn't know how to say that I was proud of him for doing this, that I found a whole new level of respect for him. With him being here, I hope he somehow knows that he's giving me strength.
"I'm not alone, why'd you think I asked you to come over. I... I need you today Eden. I feel bad that I do." I squeezed his hand harder, forcing him to look into my eyes.
"Don't. I need you too." I said without thinking. I took a deep breath and took my hand away, and turned around facing Davy's desk. I looked around, trying to escape the overwhelming feeling in my bones. I remember sitting on Davy's desk whining about not getting anything with numbers as he helped me with my math homework. I remember sitting on his bed while he was sprawled out on his floor nonchalantly giving me advice on how to be a better daughter. I remember talking about school, what we want in life, what movie is the best in history, his dreams, my dreams... everything was rushing back. Even the smell was hurting me; I almost forgot what Davy smelt like and having it come back like this made my joints ache.
"Eden, are you okay." I turned my head away from him, not wanting him to see my flustered face.
"Lets just do this." I ended up squeezing out. I picked up my box and went to his nightstand, putting his lamp in first and then a picture of Davy and I. I turned the picture over, knowing that if I looked at it longer I would collapse onto the floor and wouldn't move for another month. I suddenly felt Dawson behind me, and his big arms reached around me to pick up the picture frame.
"Davy wouldn't want this to be packed away, and you know it." Dawson said sternly. He then dropped his box and walked out the door, leaving me alone. In a couple of seconds he came back empty handed and continued to pack Davy's clothes away. Without asking any questions, I continued to pack his trophies away in silence. I tried to detach myself as I helped fold his clothes, and take down his movie posters carefully. When Dawson and I had done everything we could've done, we placed the boxes of Davy's stuff on top of his now stripped bed. On the side of the boxes I placed a picture of Davy, Dawson and their parents smiling with hiking gear on. It was probably on one of their vacations to the midwest. They all looked so happy, and Dawson was his usual sulking self. I laughed at the photo and showed Dawson when he looked at me curiously for laughing. He chuckled as well and took the photo from my hand.
"There is actually a good photo of us all smiling, but Davy particularly loved this one." He laughed, and I saw Dawson go back in time reminiscing of the memory. His expression changed to a solemn one, and he placed the picture down on top of the boxes. He sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair. "Come on downstairs, I'll make you some hot chocolate." I nodded my head and slowly followed Dawson toward the door. I looked back, knowing now that all the memories in Davy's room were now in big brown boxes about to accumulate dust for the next 20 years or so. I couldn't dismiss the feeling of emptiness I felt in my being, as if all the years I've lived were some sort of mind trick. And this was now reality. Reluctantly, I took the door knob and closed Davy's door, flinching when I heard the click. I took a deep breath, trying my best to keep any composition I had left and made my way towards Dawson.
(a/n)
I'm sorry this is so short and so late (begs forgiveness)
I hope you like the chapter and how do you think about Dawson's and Eden's relationship so far?
Thanks for reading once again, I hope you really like it and I'm sorry if you didn't. I feel like a lot of people find this boring and maybe you're right, but I didn't want this story to be cliche or something like that. I want this to be real. I want you to feel it.
Anyway, I will try not to apologize all the time for this story anymore. I love it with all my heart.
