"Thank you for loving me."
❀
No one would think that the Davy Wade would die, much less, kill himself.
He was the epitome of a good person. Some even thought he was the second coming of Christ. But when the shock and confusion of Davy's suicide co...
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t h e p r o b l e m w i t h d a v y
18
Who knew cake icing would be hard to get off your face?
I have already used about ten paper towels and I still have traces of pink in my ear. I tried not to think about the tight feeling in my chest, but all of that went to shit when someone knocked on the bathroom door.
"You still in there?" Dawson's low voice echoed through.
"Unfortunately some asshole decided to put pink cake into my ear, so yea. I'm still in here." I heard him chuckle, probably because he could hear the apparent smile though my words. I hated how he knew even without looking. And I hated how I lied about hating it. I opened the door and there Dawson was, leaning on the door frame with an unexplainable look on his face which only lasted for a second. A large smile erupted as his eyes trailed to my pink ear.
"Go wait in my room and I'll hand you some wipes. Cara and Nicotine need to use this bathroom to wash off. And trust me, they need it more than you do." I rolled my eyes as I brushed past him and headed over to his bedroom. Of all my time being in the Wade's house, I never once stepped into Dawson's room. It always just seemed off limits.
I don't really know what I expected though. So, leaving my imagination silent I pushed open his door. The first thing that hit me was Dawson's mixture of mint and fresh earth. His room was a dark blue, but everything else inside of it was bright. His bed was unmade and I laughed at how secretly immature he was. College applications were on his desk as well as acceptance letters. The University of Washington caught my eye and I smiled to myself, wondering how it would feel to see that in my hand one day. I sat down on his bed and my eyes caught sight of the family picture that was in Davy's room on his bedside table.
I remembered the story Dawson told me behind the particular picture and my eyes roamed the Wade's faces. Dawson was so evidently uncomfortable and a laugh escaped from my mouth. Mr. and Mrs. Wade were sticking their tongues out, making funny faces. And Davy was just beaming. My mind once again went into overdrive as I looked from Dawson to Davy and back. I clenched my jaw and my hands were becoming so clammy that I dropped the picture on Dawson's eggshell carpet floor. A profanity slipped from my mouth as I quickly reached down to pick it up. Suddenly, my eyes found a white paper between the picture and the back of the frame. I didn't think as I pulled out the white paper that turned out to be an envelope. My heart stopped as I read Dawson's name scribbled in Davy's handwriting. It was like all the gravity in the world pushed down on my chest and my hands had a mind of their own as they opened the letter. A sob escaped my mouth as I started to read Davy's last letter.
Dawson,
There's nothing I can say to make this okay. The words are beyond me. I'm not sorry for what I will do, but I'm sorry for the pain I will cause you. You, and mom, and Dad and Eden.
This is going to be selfish of me, but I'm going to ask you a few things to do for me. I'm only asking you because I know you can handle them. Because you're my brother. And you know I'd do the same for you.
I need you to take care of our family for me. It won't be easy, but I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry this has to be all on you now. Make sure mom doesn't do anything stupid that costs too much money, and make sure dad does.
I need you to follow our plan for me. Apply to your school out west, build up your garage. Build up 20. Just don't let me ever hold you back, I won't allow it. The plan won't be like we thought it would, but I want you to follow through with it. I need you to.
And lastly, and most importantly, love Eden for me. Take care of her. I know you guys don't talk to each other now, but you will when all of this blows up. And Dawson, you'll understand why I love her. You'll see what I see and feel what I feel. Trust me, it'll all make sense when you're with her. But don't tell her that I'm sorry. Don't tell her that I loved her, I'm afraid it'll only make things worse. Just look out for her. Love her for me. I need you to love her for me brother.
I love you,
Take care.
Davy.
I grasped my chest as sobs escaped my body. I couldn't control myself, everything hurt. Breathing hurt. I wanted all of it to stop.
I needed all of it to fucking stop.
"Eden." Dawson's soft voice interrupted my sobs and my blood boiled.
"How could you? How could you do this to me, Dawson!" I screamed my thoughts not making any sense.
"I-I couldn't tell you. Davy told me-!"
"Fuck Davy! Fuck him! You knew, you fucking knew I thought this was my fault! We were supposed to help each other, I was supposed to fucking trust you!" I threw the letter at Dawson and pushed his chest with all my might.
"Eden! Please," Dawson held onto my wrists, causing me to struggle more. "You can trust me!"
"Fuck you, no I can't! You're only helping me because Davy asked you to. You only care because Davy... because Davy loved me. I wanted - I wanted you to care because you wanted to, because we understood each other. But you don't give a fuck about me. You're just doing as you're told!"
"Eden, I was at first. At first! But it's not like that now! I promise! I care about you, I care about you so much." Dawson's voice broke and I struggled out of his grasp more. "I love you," he choked.
My body froze and even through my burning tears, I saw Dawson's storms cease. They were still.
"N-no. You don't get to say that." I stuttered.
"I know you and Davy loved each other and it fucking kills me Eden! But I can't... I can't let you go."
"The last person who loved me killed himself," I finally broke my wrists free from his grasps and stepped back. "Stay the fuck away from me Dawson." I quickly brushed past him but his hand quickly grabbed my arm. Instantly, I swung my hand to his cheek and he immediately let go. "Davy broke my heart, but you... you took everything else." I put try hand to my mouth to prevent a sob from escaping and I ran downstairs and out the front door.
