The Problem With Davy

20 ❄

    t h e       p r o b l e m     w i t h      d a v y

           20

Instead of going to my graduation, I went to therapy. It sounds more depressing than it was, but I promise, there was no other place I'd be. My parents finally met the freaks and it was just as I imagined it. Nicotine making really bad (and inappropriate jokes), Greg and Jenny being their shy, adorable selves, and Cara being absolutely eccentric. It was everything I could ask for. Dawson had been really busy, getting ready for his big move to Washington and I had to do everything in my power not to think about it.

I had to think about school, and how I was finally done with it. The thought was equally terrifying as it was exciting. High school was filled with fucking jerks and judgmental teachers, but it was the time of Davy and I. The long drives after school, studying for exams and ending up watching movies instead, staying under his tree for hours talking about life and me just falling more in love with him with each word. And now that was over. I was the girl who hated the world and everyone in it, and now I wasn't filled with so much hate anymore and it scared me to love. But I wanted to learn. I wanted to learn how to love the right way — this time.

I had gotten into a few schools around my town, with the help of my amazing guidance counselor and my lovely parents. Some community colleges, a small state school, and the City University of Washington. I knew that one of the reasons why I applied to Washington was because of Dawson, but it did have a great English program. However, I didn't want to try to keep finding excuses to follow another Wade for the rest of my life. Even though the Wade boys were the only thing to keep me standing for these past few years, I wanted to stand on my own. Although, I didn't want to run away from people anymore. I didn't want to run away from love. 

That thought was scary, but I know this wouldn't be a better time than now. I still haven't decided what to do. Leave with Dawson, stay here, or leave on my own. Everywhere I looked, people knew what they wanted to do and who to be, and I was still stuck. But I didn't want to compare myself to them anymore. I wanted to make decisions for me, and see what the world had for me. See what Davy wanted me to see.

After my parents met the Triple Tit Kids, they went home while the freaks gathered around Davy's tree one last time.

"I've been in this thing longer than I remember, you know. People would come and go and no one really would care, but now..." Cara punched Nicotine in the arm as he wiped his snotty tears.

"Oh God, will you grow up. They're not leaving forever, you drama queen." Cara rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"You will visit though?" Greg asked, his eyes hopeful.

"Of course we will. Who do you think is supposed to look after this spot for us?" I replied, hugging him close.

"I want a hug too!" Nicotine crawled over and knocked Greg and I over with an overdramatic embrace.

"Incoming!" Cara yelled, jumping on all of us. I heard Jenny giggle as she also came over, throwing her arm around us all.

"I don't do group —," Cara pulled Dawson down on us and we laughed like the freaks we are.

"Okay, can't breathe!" I squeezed out as everyone started to get off. I laughed and wiped my eyes quickly before anyone saw any tears slip out. Dawson looked over at me, his face immediately worried, but I squeezed his hand and gave him a small smile. 

I'm okay.

"You can't slack now that you're leaving though! Just know you always have people you can turn to. We will always be here. Always." Cara smiled, her eyes not giving away whether she just laughed too much or she was tearing up.

"Same goes to you," I replied, giving her a warm smile that said thank you, for everything. She nodded her head and sighed with a grin. She stood up and pulled on Nicotine's ear, causing him to stumble up as well.

"We should get going. Text us in the group chat when you leave." Cara, Nicotine, Greg, and Jenny started to walk off, waving the whole way until Dawson and I couldn't see them anymore. However, even though I couldn't see them, I heard Cara's profanities towards Nicotine. Nicotine's equally as loud profanities to Cara. Jenny trying to pull them apart. And Greg laughing hysterically. They were my freaks, always.

"I have to head out too. My plane is leaving soon." Dawson whispered, his hand finding mine. I looked up into his eyes, his thunderstorms wreaking havoc everywhere he looked. The only kind of thunderstorm that made me feel safe. "You haven't given me an answer yet..." Dawson trailed off, his throat seizing upon him.

"I haven't decided on one yet," I replied, my voice not even above a whisper. He placed his cold hand on my cold cheek and smiled down at me.

"Then I'll just wait for you." He leaned down and gave me a soft kiss. Not full of thunderstorms or heavy lightening — a warm, safe kiss. The kind that makes you feel like you're coming home. No goodbye's, only I'll wait for you's. He held my gaze for only a second more and started to walk out of the clearing. I turned around, my eyes running across Davy's tree. Flashes of his smile and his laugh rushed back to me, but this time I didn't flinch. I welcomed them with open arms and a strong heart.

"Well, this is it, Davy. The day I've been waiting and dreading for my whole life. And I never thought I'd had to go through it without you." I wiped my burning tears with the sleeve of my coat. "You... changed my life. I thought there was nothing for me, I thought I deserved nothing. And you came and showed me I could love. And be loved. I'm still mad at you, don't get me wrong." I laughed and took a deep breath. "But it seems like you knew me more than I knew myself. And I'm sorry I didn't know you better." I looked up at his tree, my heart surging with all the warmth and love he has given me. "My Davy... thank you. Thank you for loving me." I kissed my hand and placed it on his tree, smiling up at the crooked branches.

Then I turned around and walked toward my future. 

(a/n)

After 9 years, I have finally finished Davy's story. It is a weird feeling - one of nostalgia, melancholy, and more so, love. 

Thank you all. For everything. 

Until we meet again,

x