Blood Sugar

Part Twenty-Four: My Man Syd

I startled up until I noticed it was John sitting next to me. "Hey, shush. It's just me", he said and I suddenly calmed and sat back down. I brushed a tear away and asked him, still tear-stained: "What are you doing here?" "Um.. I was getting back home and.. well.. I saw you sitting there. But anyways.. What the hell happened? What's wrong?" I sobbed some more and he put his arm back around my back. "Just calm down. I'll wait 'till you're ready to talk, okay?", John spoke softly. I nodded and placed my head on his shoulder. I could feel his body stiffen by it and sat back straight. God, what was I thinking? 

I got it together and slowly started talking. "So.. I just had a fight with Lara.." "Why did you guys fight? ...Everything was fine when we were at Tony's, wasn't it?" "It was.. I suppose.. But.. I don't know.. She basically told me I was being a bad friend", I said, looking at the concrete and started sobbing again. John pulled a flick of hair that was hanging in my face behind my ear and wiped away my tears. "Don't cry Kaya. I bet she didn't mean it. Well.. I barely know you two. But still.. you seem inseparable to me. And I can't imagine you being a bad friend. I know I'd be happy if you were my friend", he said and looked me deep in the eyes. I quickly looked away.

I decided to ignore the last part. "We are close, it's true. But what she said.. I don't know.. I think she feels that I don't care about her, you know?" Christ, even though I tried my best, I couldn't hold the tears back. I was a mess. John pulled me closer to him and this time I let it happen. I breathed in his smell and enjoyed the warmth of his body. "Shhh.. it's alright", he said as he stroked my back. "I'm sorry for bothering you with this", I said with a quiet voice. "C'mon... you can talk to me.. anytime." "Thank you John... I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm a human wreck. Everything's adding up these days. I'll stop the crying now.. Promise." "If you feel like crying, just let it out. It's only natural." I shook my head. "No, it's fine", I fake smiled and released myself from his embrace. I suddenly felt like it was not right.

"I think I'm gonna go home now", I said and got up. John stood up quickly aswell. "You're in no state to be going alone. Let me walk you." I shook my head firmly. "No no.. It's fine.. I'm fine.." "Yeahyeahyeah..tell that to the marines. I'm coming", he said and grabbed my arm. I tried to protest but he wouldn't let be.. Instead of spending my energy on arguing, I finally let him walk me to my place and invited him in for a coffee.

I vanished into the kitchen before telling him to feel free to put on a record. He chose the one that Lee had got me which felt kind of awkward. When I came back with the coffee, John was sitting on the floor cross-legged. "Sounds pretty whacked out. Who is Syd Barrett anyway?", he asked when I handed him the cup and sat down on the floor opposite of him. "It's Pink Floyd's original singer", I told him and took a sip of my coffee. "Oh wow, didn't know that. I'll have to give him a listen. Do you have more of his records?" "Just this one, Lee's got me it." "Who's Lee?" "Um.. he's my boyfriend." John almost spit out his coffee. "Your boyfriend?", he asked me in disbelief. "Uh.. yeah?" "Um.. cool.. I guess. So.. Lee's his name.. what a nice name, isn't it?, John said with a bitter undertone. "Okay.. what's the deal?", I asked. "Nothing, I just think Lee's a fucking great name. And I'm leaving now. Thanks for the coffee." His words came out sharp as knives. "Yeah, whatever..", I murmured, loud enough for him to hear as he was getting up to run off.