Blood Sugar

Part Forty-One: Jealousy

I brushed off that John encounter and focused myself on Lee. We spent two beautiful days together that weekend. For the first time in a long time, I felt happy. Without any troubled thoughts. Without uncertain feelings. Lee and me were getting along naturally. He was being the sweetest guy ever. I think the exam strain was dropping off.

But deep down, I knew I wasn't giving my all. I was miles away from overflowing emotions. But.. you can't always get what you want, right? And as long as I was balanced and I had some stability, someone I knew truly loved and cared for me, I was good. I enjoyed every minute of it.

******

It was Tuesday afternoon, I was home early. Lara had asked me to drive her to Ocean Way because her car was broken...again. She had that strange talent to break everything she possesed. Poor girl.

Everybody involved with the record was gonna be there. And of course the plus ones. They'd listen to their final product, their baby - Mother's Milk - together before it got pressed and released. I didn't feel like I should be there. I was just gonna drop off Lara and leave. But she talked insistently to me to come along.

In the end, I gave in. I was just gonna congratulate, shake hands, avoid John, leave.

"Kaya, you came!", Chad cheered. "How could I miss this?", I said with a smile. I said hi to the guys and was relieved there was no sign of John so far. He's not gonna turn my world upside down this time.

Chris came up to me and gave me a hug. "Have you seen John?", he asked. I shook my head. "He's been acting strange lately. I think the guys are worried about him." "Well, I haven't seen him", I said. He knit his eyebrows. "Everything alright?" I smiled. "Yeah."

The door opened - in came John. Boodstained eyes, messy hair. Flea approached him and put his arm around his shoulder. "Geez, you look awful, darling." John scanned the crowd, looked to me and grinned. "Happens when you got a girl that keeps you busy all night", he said and winked in my direction. I rolled my eyes. Flea laughed. "Whatever Frusciante. No details, please." "But last time you said you couldn't sleep at nights without picturing me naked", John said and nudged Fleas' shoulder. "Oh, I forgot. But psshh..", Flea chuckled. I couldn't help but laugh, too. John looked to me and I froze immediately. It didn't help much that Tina came up to him and kissed his cheek. And that bastard didn't stop looking to me all the way. And he grinned. A far from friendly grin.

And it didn't stop there. Whenever he was talking to her.. he never seemed to give her any attention. Instead, he looked over to me.. all the time.

I went up to L. She eyed me awkwardly and whispered into my ear. "Have you noticed John keeps looking to you nonstop? What the hell?" I rolled my eyes. "I know. I should leave. I told you this was no good idea", I whispered back. She nodded understandingly and patted my shoulder. "Yeah, you're right. He probably needs some time to get through this."

I hugged Lara and said goodbye to the rest, too. I must say I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to hear the final tracks.. but oh well. Something was terribly wrong with John.. and I couldn't really explain this to myself. The last time we spoke, everything seemed alright.

Johns POV

Now Kaya left and I felt totally desperate. Lack of sleep, too much wine and weed. I was losing my mind. I told Tina to wait a a sec and I grabbed Flea by the arm.

"John? What's up?" I didn't answer until I got him to follow me into some empty sound studio. "You're confusing me", Flea finally said. "Boy, I'm confusing myself", I said. Flea grinned. "Man.. Tina is fucking annoying the shit out of me. I fucking hate her man. I don't know what I'm doing with that girl.. what I want from her." Flea sighed. "Well.. everyone noticed. Instead of her apparently." I looked up to him. "They did?" He laughed. "Yup man. Well.. your eyes were constantly fixed on Kaya." I breathed deep. "Fuck.. I know. I couldn't stop. I think I tried to get her jealous or whatever."

"Sorry I gotta disappoint you. But when everyone sees how unhappy you are with that girl.. no surprise she won't be jealous. You need to change your tactics. But actually... I think you need to forget about her. I mean.. she's awesome. I love her lots. But she's got a boyfriend.. and you're miserable because of her.. and I can't have that John. I care a lot about you as a friend. And she gets you down and I can't watch that", Flea said.

Flea was right of course. But I couldn't abandon the thought of getting with her just yet. I mean.. I sensed she was getting closer to me emotionally last Friday, there was something.. I knew it. I would have to stick with Tina a little longer and try to get Kaya jealous.. I did feel bad about just thinking this. Tina was fucking annoying me.. I wasn't even lying. All she talked about was her vegan lifestyle. Good for you girl, but I don't give a fuck about your eating habits. But.. I was a dick for using her. On the other hand.. I wanted to have Kaya... and Tina might help. So, what the hell!