Longing Hearts [Rilaya]

nightlife

Riley's POV

I lean against the side of Maya's bed once the song fades out. I haven't been able to get her saying I'm adorable off my mind. I mean I can try to brush it off as a simple compliment but the way she looked at me makes it pretty difficult. It's pathetic, but I've been pushing my crush on her away for a little over two months now. I kinda take pride in hiding it well. Or at least I hope I'm hiding it.

Coming to terms with the fact that I like her as more than just my friend hit me hard. She had been in a deep state of concentration, sketching something in the corner of the room. The way the sunlight shone on her face from the bay window, it was mesmerizing. As I studied her for way too long everything just fell into place. Which, in turn, resulted in me practically falling off the side of my bed in total shock.

I don't think Maya is aware of how much I've learned from late nights of questioning my entire existence. I've may have come to terms with the fact that I'm a raging bisexual, but that doesn't mean I know how to handle falling for my best friend. I honestly don't know how the people in my life would respond to any of this. I'm lucky that they're all relatively accepting as far as I know but I don't know what I should do. Sometimes I want to come out and have the world know and other times I'd rather be flat against the back wall of the closet. I've had things click in my mind, gotten over the whole 'guess I'm not as straight as I originally thought'. Well except for the part about crushing on my straight best friend, but I can't help it I mean just looking at her takes my breath away sometimes. No matter how cliche that sounds it's painfully true.

Tonight has given me a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance she feels something too. I can't let myself overthink it. The thought of screwing up and losing her forever is terrifying. Maya may still think she's broken and someone who doesn't deserve love but she's not. I've broken down her walls and the only thing I can see is a wonderful girl with a beautiful mind. One I'm currently losing my own mind over.

I snap out of my daze when I hear a door close. I'm facing the main door so it couldn't have been that one. I hadn't even been paying attention after the song, just letting the next one play through. I look around the room noticing that Maya has disappeared.

I get to my feet, remembering that we do have a door that leads out to the balcony. The teachers made it a rule that we couldn't go out there but knowing Maya, she didn't listen. I turn the handle and see her sitting with her back against the wall. I hadn't even realized it was pouring. When did that start?

"You do realize it's raining right? How did you even get out here anyways?" I ask.

"Yeah. The rain is calming, I wanted to come out here and watch it. It's pretty late but I mean this seems peaceful to me. A good way to wind down. To answer your second question, you're best friends with me babe. Picking that lock isn't that difficult" she responds with a dramatic flip of her hair.

I shrug and slide down the wall next to her. It takes a few seconds to register that she just called me babe.

As if I wasn't already internally flipping out, she reaches my hand and intertwines it with her own.

I stare ahead and watch the lights of cars speeding by in the dark of the night. Her hand is always so soft. It's warm and gentle, nothing like when I held hands with Lucas. I catch myself there and refuse to let my mind wander more. I stand up to get a better view of our surroundings.

"You should be glad this balcony isn't completely open to the weather or you'd be getting soaked" I point out, hoping to disrupt my current train of thought. She stands next to me.

"Yeah no shit Sherlock" she says playfully and I don't have to see her face to know she's rolling her eyes.

"Well I mean can't you see how much rain-" I'm cut off when Maya pushes me a few feet forward into the downpour.