Longing Hearts [Rilaya]

rooftops and rebels

Maya's POV

Usually you couldn't force me out of that room if Riley's there but now I've never wanted to leave it so fast.

With every step away from her building a new pang of guilt resonates in my soul. I didn't want to leave her alone like that but I couldn't be there. I couldn't see her face once the shock was replaced with something like disapproval or pity. Something that would break me.

My hair is getting soaked and one of my shoelaces is untied but I can't stop running.

I kissed Riley Matthews. I just screwed up the best thing in my life, the one constant I can always count on.

I force myself to stop under a store awning and breathe. Tears threaten to spill over once I let myself think about what it felt like. Of course it was everything I've ever wanted but when my brain decided to work again panic and fear took over.

My first kiss was barely long enough for me to remember it and I'll be lucky if she'll even want me around after screwing up that badly. I can't go back and live with the rejection and awkwardness that'll surely drive us apart.

I sit on the pavement and wait for the rain's intensity to subside. The memory of that night on the balcony with Riley wants to resurface but I push it back into the depths of my mind.

I desperately try to will the tears away and divert my attention from everything Riley related. I stare at the blurred city lights in the distance. I'm on some random side street since I had just let the night take me anywhere away from the Matthews' apartment in that moment.

As soon as the droplets change to a manageable drizzle I start to walk again. Most of the stores on the street are closed which is understandable since somehow its half an hour past midnight. As I pass the only open business, a bar on the street corner, the streets become more familiar. I've wandered far enough back to the rougher neighborhood where I used to live.

I haven't given much thought to the friends I used to have here before moving away in years. Well other than when Carla and Renee crossed paths with me in that park early freshman year but it was brief.

I decide to head to a certain alleyway by the tattoo parlor I assume still exists a few blocks away. The only other member of our old little group of misfits who didn't accompany Carla and Renee that day was a boy named Felix.

The thought of that name brings back history. He was the most rebellious, the risk taker. There are little things like how he always wore a chain with a small crescent moon, a gift from his mom before she died in car accident when we was young that are coming back now. It was a reminder of her even when his father became increasingly distant after the loss. Felix used to spend every second he could outside with us, unless the weather discouraged it, to avoid facing the constant quiet and loneliness at home. We used to be close.

I reach the secluded alley, for some reason it was his favorite spot to hang out in when we were kids. I walk a few feet in to look around, not expecting to see anything very interesting. It's mainly trash and burnt cigarettes with scattered glass as expected.

"Hart?"

I jump backwards at the sound of a voice breaking the unusual silence of the night.

My eyes travel from the ground around me and then up and sure enough I can make out the hazy silhouette of Felix himself sitting on the edge on the roof in the light from the streetlight.

"Jesus give a girl a warning would you? You almost gave me a heart attack!" I reply back.

"Sorry, didn't mean to freak you out. Maya Hart. Huh I never thought I'd say that name again. We really gotta catch up, you wanna come on up here?" he yells down.