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as of march 6, 2019 this chapter has been re written / edited and yes, i changed her name from ashley simpson to nicole spencer.

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CHAPTER ONE
EIGHT SHOTS OF TEQUILA

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, that hung on the grey, empty bedroom wall, I tilted my head to the side, at the same time brushing my hands over my jean clad tights. The material feeling tight around my still bruised legs.

Sigh.

The girl staring back at me definitely did not look like me. If I met me now, I wouldn't recognize myself. The scars from the open wounds that were held closed with stitches still very much noticeable on the skin on the side of my forehead and on my right cheek. The doctors did tell me that it would take a while for them to completely heal, but it's taking ages. Whenever I would look at them it seemed like they didn't make any progress.

That was one of the things that irritated me about the whole thing. The other one being the whole Jason not staying faithful thing.

I can hundred percent guarantee that I never imaged myself in this position; not for the second time at least. After all the promises that he made; after all those "I would never treat you like that," and "He's an asshole for cheating on you. You're the more amazing girl I've ever met and I'm so fucking happy you're mine..." Even with the occasional fights that we had, because yes, we had our share of fights, but what couple doesn't have them? They were mostly stupid and over the most stupidest things anyways. But no matter what we would always come back together at the end of the day. Though I guess not everyone gets their happy ever after...

Turning away from the mirror, I grabbed my bag and phone on the way out of the bedroom. Locking the apartment door behind me, I jogged down the three flights of stairs and pushed the main doors open, wishing I had grabbed a jacket as a chilly breeze ran past my body. It was nine in the evening after all and it was said to rain during the night.

Getting in my run down car since a used one was the only type of car I could afford at the moment... However it's not like I was complaining. I rather a used car than no car at all. And it wasn't like she was in a bad condition. She had everything in the right places, even had a radio that I didn't bother turning on. They mostly played love songs on every station anyways and right now I really don't want to hear any of those. Maybe in couple years.

Even with it being six months since the car crash — to which I still can't wrap my head around — and it being five months since I was released from the hospital, it still very much hurts when I move too fast or have to carry, or lift something heavy. But other than my heart still occasionally hurting, I'm fine.

They say time heals everything and I really hope they're right because right now I'm still hurting and I would for it stop hurting, because I'm over it. I'm over that piercing pain in my heart whenever I so much think about those ocean blue eye or that smile...

I'm over it all and all I want is to finally mend my still broken heart, because right now I'm still the furthest from healed.

Pulling in the parking lot of the bar where I worked, I killed the engine and stepping out of the car, I locked the car door; even with the car having couple years on her, I still took precautions. Quickly scurrying inside the building thought the black door, I smiled at the warmth that instantly wrapped around my body like a blanket.

"You're twenty minutes early," a slightly high pitch voice rang through the air. Cece, my co worker and manager scaring the soul out of me as she walked out from her office.

Furrowing my eyebrows, I spun around to face her, "What?"

"Your shift doesn't start for twenty more minutes," she let out a laugh as she nodded her head over to the wall clock. And like she said, I had twenty, well fifteen more minutes until my shift started. I guess I left the house earlier than usual. "But that's okay, you can help me carry up some boxes from the basement," Cece continued as she headed for the basement door.

Plastering a smile on my face, I nodded my head and followed her down the flight of stairs, even though I was wincing on the inside. I couldn't tell her no, she'd ask why and I definitely didn't want her, or anyone for that matter, to know about the accident. When people know something they start asking questions and I don't like that. Turning on the lights, shelves full of different bottles that were placed all around the large open space cake into my view. In the little timeframe that I've been working here, I have never actually been down here before.

"Here," practically pushing a box in my hands, I barely grasped it as I didn't have much time to react. To say it was rather heavy would be an understatement. Trying not to show the pain that was creeping up my back, I turned around and one step at a time I proceeded to climb back up to the bar, but was unsuccessful as I dropped the box midway up.

"Are you okay?" Cece asked in a worried tone as I could feel her stop her movements. Looking over my shoulder, I watched as she poked her head around one of the stacks of the brown cardboard boxes.

"Uh yeah," I gulped, slightly out of breath. I could feel the blood pulsing in my veins as I desperately tried to catch my breath and have the pain that was shooting down my right leg to simmer down. "It's just really heavy, that is all."

Going back to looking through the boxes, Cece didn't pay anymore attention to me, giving me an opportunity to rub my right thigh, I hopes to relieve some of the pain. "I forgot to warn you about that," she let out, as she pushed boxes around on the concrete floor.

Grimacing, I picked up the box up again and as quickly as I could walked up stairs. This time succeeding. Placing the box on the ground, I pushed it bit further from the door that lead down to the basement and from which I had just emerged from. Lifting my eyes up to the clock, I was happy to find that it's time for me to start my shift.

"I'll be in the front!" I called down the stairs, letting Cece know about my whereabouts. Changing my shirts, I grabbed one of the black colored towels and looping that through the belt loops, I walked out behind the bar counter top.

The bar was in full swing, people dancing and pouring alcohol down their throats.

"Nic!" Brian exclaimed the moment he turned around, away from the two girls he was just placing drinks in front of. As I cast a quick glance at them two, even in that split second I could see the goggly eyes they were making at Brian — and I don't blame them. "Today is going to be a long one," he spoke over the music that played through the place, the floor vibrating from the heavy bass.

"I can see that."

Completely abandoning the two girls, Brian grabbed his own towel and began wiping shot glasses. "It's like someone threw a party and invited dozen people," he chuckled.

Mumbling a "It's not so bad. It has definitely been worse," I walking over to one of the customers sitting by the bar, his arm raised in the air. Wiping my hands down on the towel, I didn't even get any words out when he was already speaking, "Eight shots of tequila," the guy announced rudely.

Turning away from him, I grimaced as Brian tried not to laugh, obviously having heard the guys rudeness. Pouring the shots, I placed the small glasses in front of the rude guy. "I hope you choke on them," I mumbled as I turned away from him, walking to where Brian was. Frankly I didn't care if he heard me or not.

And Brian was right, tonight will be long.

***
if there will be a song corresponding with the chapter, it'll be named at the start of the chapter

hopefully (finally) publishing it will make me write the next chapters

also don't forget to drop a like and/or comment xoxo

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