Forever Knight [Harmione]

Chapter 9: Homecoming

Two hours after nightfall, Harry sat in the living room with Ron and wallowed in last minute angst.

“What if she takes one look at me and thinks that we can’t work it out?” Harry asked, leaning back miserably on the couch. 

Ron was about to answer when Harry was off again.

“What if I screw up one day and just happen to have a pizza and I kiss her and that just makes her realize it’s all impossible?”

Ron frowned and tried again.

Harry sat up.  “What’ll happen when I’m older and wrinkly and she stops thinking I’m ‘fanciable’ and leaves me for some strapping young vampire who will never age?”

“For Merlin’s sake, Harry!” Ron cried.

“What?”

Ron motioned to say something, hesitated and sighed.  “Look, stop with all the stupid questions already.  You have to settle down and take it one step at a time.  We’ll wait and she’ll be at the door and… just take it from there, alright?  Just calm down, for both our sakes.  You’re driving me spare.”

“Fine.  Sorry.  I’m just a little wired.”

“You’re what?”

“Wired.  Muggle expression…”  He blew a breath through his lips and reached for one of the boxes of chocolate he got for her.  The particular brand he bought was listed in the So Your Sweetheart’s A Vampire book under “Chocolate Favorites”.  He thought maybe a homecoming present would be nice and comforting. 

Anxiously, he got up and peered into the mirror.  He didn’t really dress up dress up, but he wanted to look a bit presentable.  He had selected one of his nicer t-shirts, bought a decent pair of jeans that was actually his size and—shock and awe—new trainers.  His hair was as impossible as ever, but he ran his fingers through it anyway, trying to beat it into submission. 

He turned to Ron.  “Do I look alright?”

Ron’s lip twitched.  “Er… you look nice?”

“Nice is what people say when they’re too polite to say something bad, isn’t it?”

“Well, girl friend, if you must know, those glasses aren’t working for me at all.”

Harry sighed, putting up his hands.  “You’re right.  I’m being an idiot.  It doesn’t matter how I look.  Hermione and I love each other and that’s the sum of it.  At least that’s what those sappy romance novels say, eh?  That it doesn’t matter how you look, blah, blah, blah…”

“Actually, in popular romance novels, you don’t really get ugly leads.  They’re usually very beautiful and handsome.  Blokes like you and me are just secondary characters because we’re ordinary, and the female lead never falls in love with us.  We’re just there for comic relief and sometimes one or both of us falls in love with her, our love unrequited, of course. We usually end up sacrificing our lives for the wo—“

“Exactly what have you been reading in your free time, Ron?”

“What?  You’ve never heard of Fifi La Folle?”

“Who?”

“Author of the popular Enchanted Encounters series.  Ginny has loads of them on her bookshelves.  It’s only a tad less racier than Crystal Claire Waters’ Ensorcelled Wand series.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“Oh, not at all.  La Folle still uses euphemisms for the unmentionables.  Waters just lets ‘er rip and calls it like it is.”