Today was "one of those days". Now that I think about it... it's been "one of those days" for like a year.
Whoever decided that this was going to be the year, the year of anxiety, and depression, and personal issues of that nature, should be smacked in the face.
I haven't told my parents that I think of hurting myself, or that I hate talking and socializing now, or maybe even that being around people, includes them.
Today was hard.
I "made a big deal" out of something that "didn't need to be a big deal".
Happens often.
I wish it didn't.
I get this feeling in my stomach, when I imagine confronting them with all those things, I hate that feeling. I've been told I have a really bad case of "people pleasing." And sure, I would do anything for anyone, I want to be perfect, all the time, to everyone, but that's "unreasonable."
The worst part, is when my parents ask me something and I say I don't care, or "whatever, you choose," and they get mad at me.
"Just choose!"
"Stop trying to please us!"
Trust me, I've tried, it doesn't work.
Maybe I just want you to be happy and it shouldn't matter what makes me happy.
Because you being happy, makes me happy.
So, we all win.
Today was hard.
