Sometimes I feel sad.
Like, really sad.
And I don't really know why. I guess I do. I have reasons to be sad, but...not this sad.
Sometimes I feel sad.
For, like, a really long time.
I call those, my low days. I get a lot of low days. But...not always.
I have happy days. A lot of happy days, I guess.
Sometimes I feel sad.
Even when I know I should feel happy...
When I try to express how I'm feeling it all feels like word vomit, I never know how to express what's happening in my brain, to other people.
When I tell my mom that I'm sad, she asks if I'm depressed. Which doesn't really help.
Like asking for an apple, and being told your starving.
Or saying its cold, but that your also dying from hypothermia.
She takes it too fast.
When I tell my dad I'm sad, he nods. "Understands"
When I tell my stepmom I'm sad, she tells me to perk up. To self talk. To get happy.
But, I'm tired. I'm so tired of smiling and laughing and waking up in the morning knowing that I tried. It makes me sad to think of how I failed at being happy.
I don't tell my stepdad I'm sad. He doesn't understand.
I feel sad a lot, more than I probably should. And...that scares me a bit.
Sometimes I feel sad.
