I guess the start came when I started reading stories. Stories about depression and anxiety. I guess.
I've always struggled with the truth. The boundary between something that I'm making happen and something that actually would have happened whether or not I controlled it.
Kind of like lying but not realizing that your actually lying, more so acting.
I like and hate to think of myself in such a poetic, romanticized way. An actress.
Like I definitely feel like its too hard to smile and laugh and care, it hurts. But, at the same time, would I have ever known it was hard?
I guess that's where it started, I guess.
