Our Lost Love : Shu Kurenai x reader

My Silent Scream

Your pov.

As days pass I kept on cutting myself. No one ever noticed. I have a fake smile on my face every time I'm in public. When I'm alone I feel like dieing. I've been eating less, and less focused on beyblading, I've also been lacking sleep.

I go to my dresser and hold my evolved bey Virgo in my hand. Tears ran down my cheeks.

"Virgo why am I staring to be like this? " I asked her. There were so many cuts on my arms. But I either use long sleeve's, sweaters and/or jackets, or at times foundation. I quickly whipped away my tears, and got ready. I got Virgo and left for practice. I got in the group like everybody else and stood next to Valt. I gave him a fake warm smile. I love Valt and Honcho, but I don't want them to leave me. I looked down at the floor only paying attention to a voice that's telling me to leave and cut myself.

"Ms. L/n. " I heard a faint voice say. "Ms. L/n! Can you hear me?! " I snapped out of my thought and looked at her directly.

"Huh? What? " I asked.

"Congrats. " Honcho said.

"Huh? What for? " I asked confused.

"You will be battling in our next match. " the lady with pink hair said.

"Oh okay... Can I go now? " I said.

"But we have training! " Valt shouted and I walked away.

"Yeah that's cool. " I said and kept walking. ❌🚫 warning next part might trigger some people. And if it does I'm really really sorry. But if you know you will get triggered don't ready it. You gave been warned.🚫❌

I walked into the forest and laid my back on a tree. I got a piece of glass and washed it in the river. I out my hands in the river washing away the foundation. When I washed them off you could see so many cuts. I laid back on the tree and cried. I started cutting myself on both of my arms. It was so dark out. I out my cuts face up and laid my arms on my legs. Blood fell onto my legs. ✅it's now clear. You may now read ahead. The next passages should be clear. ✅

I closed my eyes and cried. All I did was cry. Not cry out loud, but cry softly. All of this was my silent scream. I saw someone stop right in front of me. I backed up scared. I covered my arms. It was the masked person I thought was Shu. Tears kept running down my cheeks. Half of my hair was covering my face. He bent down to my level and took off his mask. It was Shu. My eyes widened and I cried more. He looked at me wide eyed.

I knew he couldn't believe what I'm doing to myself. He just stared at me, not saying a word, not moving an inch, not even a hug. I stood up and was about to run, but I collapsed on the floor. I was waiting to hit the floor, but nothing. I looked up and saw Shu. I knew he still couldn't believe it was me. And what I was doing. I started to shake. He looked at my arms and his eyes widened. So many cuts. He looked away and out my arm down. As if he was ashamed of me.

I cried. I felt my heart break. I'm sorry Shu. I didn't want to do this. But it's been happening ever since I got to spain with Valt and Honcho. I needed all the guys together to help me keep standing. To help me up when I fall. The only people that have helped me keep going.

Time skips...

He still hasn't said a word to me. He cleaned up my cuts, and bandaged them.

'See I told you that he lost interest in you. Who would want to love you? Your parents and brother haven't even called you. Not even to check up on you. Just die! Because your invisible to everybody! Diago treated you differently! Honcho and Valt have pushed you aside just to be with all these other kids in BC Sol. Your important to no one anymore! Just end your life already! Nobody would care! Nobody would notice anyways! Just kill yourself! ' a voice in my head said. My eyes widened looking down, tears formed in my eyes. 'Just end yourself already! Get a knife and stab yourself! Go hang yourself or something! Just end your life already! He obviously ashamed he knows you about this! ' the voice kept going. Shu signaled me to get up and go with him.

More time skips...

I got to BC Sol. I stood outside the building. I opened the door and peeked around. Hopefully nobody was awake. I walked inside knowing that it's clear, and went to my dorm. I closed the door and took out a pile of drawing of thing close to death. A drawing of someone hanging herself, a drawing of someone holding a knife. And more depressing stuff like that. I put Virgo on the dresser and walked around my dorm. I stared out the window for what seemed like forever.

'Just kill yourself and you'll finally be with your mom and dad! Nobody wants you here! Nobody cares about you! ' the voice kept shouting. I put my hands over my ears. I just shook my head crying.

"Stop. " I said quietly. "I can't do it. Just leave me alone. " I said quietly out loud.

'I'll leave you alone when your dead! ' it shouted.

"But I don't want to. Just leave me alone. " I said quietly. I whipped away my tears when I didn't hear the voice anymore. I looked at my mirror and saw myself getting more and more pale by the day. I had eye bags under my eyes on my lack of sleep.

I got the drawings and put them in a cabinet. I just sat down in front of my drawer with my mirror all night. Just looking down. No emotion showed on my face. Tears just ran down my cheeks. I just kept hearing the voice all night. Why couldn't it leave me alone?