Here to Win (Walker Boys Sequel)

Chap. 18

So I made a mistake in the last chapter... I forgot to add the last line. It's there now, but some of you may not be able to see it. So I'm just going to do a short recap, with the new line, before the next chapter.

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Recap:

“I don’t know why I came in here,” Zoe said, softly. “I guess I just wanted to see you, to talk to you.”

“Just like how I creeped in your room earlier?”

She chuckled. “Yeah, like that.”

“Well, for the record, I miss you too.”

I heard her let out a sigh. “Yeah, well, that still doesn’t change anything.”

“I know.”

“But I really wish it did,” she muttered. “I really wish it did.”

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“Can we talk?” Carson asked, barging into my room.

“It’s about time.”

“Shut up alright?”

“Sorry.” I moved over on my bed and put away my phone.

He stretched out diagonally across my bed so his head rested on my shins, his face towards the ceiling. “So don’t make fun of me, okay? What’s I’m saying is hard for me to say.”

“I’m all ears. No laughter unless I’m actually supposed to, promise.” I felt my stomach tighten, Carson rarely got this serious.

“It’s been really hard without you.” He let out a long breath, like he’d been holding it in. “I never realized that I used you as much as you used me. Like our midnight heart-to-hearts and our bro codes? I never realized how much I actually needed those until I didn’t have them anymore.” His eyes flickered over to me and then back up to the ceiling. “And then once you were gone, I was alone here. I mean the only people left are the twins and Chase, and it’s not like I can go to any of them, ya know? And I’m close to Mary-Anne, I love her to death, but it’s not the same.”

I stared at my window. So not only had I let my relationship with Zoe fade out, but my relationship with Carson as well. Especially when Carson really needed me, I was all he had.

“Carson, I am so-”

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry, because I honestly don’t want to hear it.” He sighed. “You let me down, okay? There I said it. You let me down. You were all I had in this shithole, and this year has been hell without you. And it seemed like you didn’t even care about me anymore, that you’d gotten out and you were done. We don’t talk like we used to, hell we hardly even talk at all.”

He was right. I hardly ever talked to him. And it’s not like I didn’t have the time, it’s just that none of this ever occurred to me.

“You’ve changed this year Mason. I don’t know what happened, but you’re definitely different, and I hate it.”

“I have changed,” I muttered, realizing all the relationships I’d left. One year in college, one year away from everyone I love, and it had completely changed me. And not for the better either. I hadn’t become more independent, I’d just become a douchebag.

Carson sat up. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was really counting on you. And you didn’t pull through for me. But whenever you needed me, I was right there for you.”