Battlefield ｡ Tony Stark

43 - MOTHERHOOD

Motherhood was a strange thing; a wonderful but sometimes painful thing that only a woman could understand. It was the fundamentals that suddenly, your life was not your own, suddenly a child meant more than the blood pumping through your veins and the life in your soul. Suddenly, that little baby was everything you never thought you wanted. Suddenly, you would risk your own life just to know that child would live another day. That was the burden, but also a gift that motherhood truly was.

"Samuel, honey, please don't cry." My own voice was filled with unshed tears and pain. Blood pooled down my jeans still, wet and reminding me that sometimes, bad things happened. There was a heavy guilt sitting in the pit of my stomach and I couldn't shake it away. Beside me, Samuel was rubbing at his nose, his eyes ringed red. His little mind was too full of uncertainly. It couldn't have been easy seeing your mother suddenly bleeding and in pain.

Justin Hammer was still freaking out naturally. Somehow he had gathered enough wits to call an ambulance but there was a mild terror in his eyes. His fake tanned hands yanked at his hair, mumbling words I couldn't hear because my own temple throbbed dreadfully. "Justin, pull yourself together. Anybody would think you've just had a--" I couldn't even get the word out of my dry lips. The fear coursing through my entire body howled with the very real possibility that a miscarriage could have occurred. I had tried reeling my mind through every medical accident and symptom involving pregnancies but nothing suggested good news. "Jesus, would you stop pacing? You're freaking me out."

He turned to face me, eyes huge. "There's blood all over my clean floors and you're sitting there calm and collected, despite whatever just happened. Also, I've actually got somewhere to be right now, okay? Heard of a little weapon presentation at Stark Expo? That's where my full attention is needed, not dealing with all this nonsense. This is a nightmare."

I tried not rolling my eyes, "You're worried about your stupid robot presentation?"

Justin Hammer continued to stare at me. "I am not remotely equipped to handle any of this. What if you bleed out? Can that happen? God, why did this have to happen today, of all days? The biggest day of my career."

"Self-absorbed much?" Samuel snipped out harshly, glaring across at the man. His hand had curled around my own, holding tightly.

A smile almost touched my lips. Apparently he did inherit one thing from me and that was my very famous quick mouth and filter for no bullshit. Another flare of pain sprung through my abdomen and my teeth dug into my bottom lip. Both boys stopped bickering, all attention back on me. I wanted to open my mouth and tell my son that everything would be alright, but that wasn't something I could do right now. The only thing I could do without bursting into tears, was control my breathing. In through your nose, out through your mouth.

During the outbursts of my temper and jabs about Justin's stupid robots, somehow he helped me into the main foyer of Hammer Industries. He kept on mumbling something about his drones and some Russian man, too worked up that he was going to miss his big performance tonight at Stark Expo. When he finally settled me down in a chair, red and blue lights flashed in the darkness through the glass windows. An ambulance pulled up outside and I was sighing loudly. "Mum--" My son started softly.

"It's okay," I reassured Samuel. "Did you call Tony?"

He nodded, "He said he'd try and make it."

That hurt a little bit. "Alright."

The glass doors of the foyer flew up, two paramedics charging towards us. Justin Hammer was already beelining towards the doors himself, having apparently no time or guilt about leaving me here in a medical predicament. Typical. "Miss, you're gonna' need to stay calm." The first paramedic was saying sternly. "We're going to do everything we can on our way towards the hospital. Can you tell us what happened? Are you in pain right now?"

I blinked a few times, "Um, there was pain before in my stomach and the blood came next. It was kind of like a knife to my uterus, but the pain has mostly died down now. That's a bad sign, isn't it? I'm a nurse and generally, if a patient isn't in pain when they should be, something is most definitely wrong."

"Ma'am, it's best if we just get you into the back and check your vitals." The second paramedic said, trying her best to keep the truth from her eyes. I wasn't stupid though and maybe right now, my own detachment from the whole situation had her worried. Maybe she already knew, just like I did deep down, that the worst outcome had occurred. "We don't want to jump to final conclusions."

Samuel took my hand again and in that very moment, that hurt more than anything. He was trying his very best to be brave for me. He knew that I needed his father, but he was stepping up to the plate and that was the little boy I raised. My chin wobbled a little but my voice was steady suddenly. "Okay."

***

The hospital lights were bright and indeed, aided to the thumbing headache swirling around in my brain. We had been stuck in a closed off emergency room for nearly two hours and beside eating ice chips and worrying beyond measures, nobody had told me any news. Nurses had gathered all the blood samples they needed and right now, I was waiting for an ultrasound while trying to remain positive.

"Look mum, we can watch the Stark Expo on television." Samuel announced brightly, as he perched on the end of my hospital bed, legs crossed with a bag of Cheetos in his lap and staring up at the blinking television screen. "How cool is that? We can see Justin Hammer's weapons demonstration!"

I gave a vague nod, "Pretty cool, buddy."

Suddenly, somebody was knocking on the door and sticking her head through the crack. My attention spiked and I was pushing myself up with my elbows. "Miss Hardings? I am deeply sorry it's taken so long, we're backed up tonight, but we're ready for your ultrasound to determine whether or not your baby is okay."

Samuel scurried off the bed, leaving a trail of orange dust from his chips. There was a tightness in my chest with the heavy moment weighing on my shoulders. The doctor gave a warm smile, which should have calmed my nerves but it didn't. She gathered her equipment and kindly lifted up my shirt to smear cold gel over my stomach. I eyed her light blue scrubs and her name printed on her lab coat. "A resident, huh? Have they got you doing the grunt work tonight?"

Doctor Bryce O'Shea glanced over at me, her dark hair pinned off her face. "I wouldn't call this grunt work. I actually picked up an extra shift. The paramedic informed me you're a nurse, Miss Hardings. It's nice to meet a fellow like minded care giver."

I actually smiled this time, "Are you trying to soften me up with compliments?"

Bryce laughed sweetly, "Apparently, you can see through my bedside manner." Her light hearted behaviour dropped suddenly though, her eyes narrowing on the tiny screen. My heart stilled in my chest. "Alright, Miss Hardings, we're got a clear picture of your beautiful baby. You're still too early to determine the sex, but let's try and find his or her heartbeat."

The room was too quiet suddenly.

Tears were already gathering in my eyes when the room's door swung open, the heavy handle slamming into the wall. All eyes snapped up to find Tony Stark standing in the doorway. He had on his Iron Man suit and his head mask was removed. He looked different somehow, the dullness in his eyes had faded away since seeing him last. There was a glimmer of hope with him just standing here though, knowing he had somehow made the journey across the country for me. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave--"

"It's okay," I told Bryce O'Shea quietly. "He's the father."