Battlefield ｡ Tony Stark

45 - AFTERMATH

A few short days had passed since the battle within Flushings, New York, where Iron Man, along with his best friend, had gone up against an old foe who simply wanted pure revenge, Ivan Vanko. The Stark Expo had indeed ended with a bang, the world once again adoring a man that tried his very best to try and protect others from harm. The aftermath of that night had just started to settle in the ash and dust, even with one hopeful outcome.

"Tilly, come on, you can't stay in bed all day long." A very familiar, high pitched girly voiced sounded from the other side of my locked bedroom door. With her loud voice, my head ached and I rolled over, pulling the blanket over my head. When the world was rejoicing with the save from Iron Man, there was one person that had hidden away in the darkness of her room to try and mend her broken heart and that person was me. 

A banging continued but I made no attempt to even move. I had lost count of the days that had passed since my miscarriage, my body feeling quiet literally empty. The very same night doctors have removed a dead developing baby from my womb, had been the same night Tony Stark had defeated Whiplash. There was a guilt swimming in my mind with the loss, fearing that somehow the outcome had been because of me. Had that child died because their mother had feared the idea of wanting them? Had I somehow killed them? 

"Damnit, Tilly." Lucy Hammer shouted out, her knuckles still rasping against the wood. "You've been cooped up in your room for days now, your son doesn't even know what his mother looks like anymore and well, Tony, he's worried sick. He won't stop calling, demanding I do something, which is insane because there's nothing I can really offer right now...but that's beside the point, please just let me in."

I waited for a long moment, my mind twisting around harshly. Lucy Hammer was my oldest and dearest friend, she was family actually. She was somebody who had weaved through the harsh waters that was my past and never let go of my hand. She was my somebody, even when the world promised me everything eventfully turned to ash. With a heavy sigh, I was pulling myself from the comfort of my bed and padding towards the door. When the click sounded, meaning the door was finally unlocked, Lucy pushed herself through the threshold, her eyes growing wide. "Oh, Tilly..." 

Her two simple words was all it took to open a floodgate of pent up sadness and guilt that had been inked into my heart the last few days. Suddenly, my knees were buckling and my weight was tumbling towards the floor. Lucy was following suit, her arms circling around my body and pulling me towards her, her soft touch like an old dream. "I didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl, Lu. That baby could have been a baby girl with huge dreams and this cute button nose. She could have been...Tony probably would have adored her and showered her with gifts and given her the world, you know? But now, she's just gone."

My best friend wiped away my tears, "It wasn't your fault."

"It feels like my fault," I admitted quietly, feeling so helpless. 

Lucy rocked my tired body back and forth, doing her best in trying to comfort me. Right now, there wasn't much to say that would change the guilt. There was a permanent hollowness that reminded me of what I had lost, something I had truly never even been given. A child had died, my child and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye, or say hello. 

Fat ugly tears raced down my cheeks in rivers, my body pulsing with every unpleasant thought that had seeped into my mind since finding out I was pregnant again. With the sunlight dying outside, we sat on my bedroom floor and continued to cry until a little boy stood in the doorway. I wasn't sure how long Samuel stood there and watched, but at some point he had dropped to his knees and curled his arms around me too. He was a smart kid, he knew his mother was in pain and depression lingered in her mind right now, but he did the only thing he could do and that was hold tightly and remind me that he loved me. He kept reminding me until dusk painted the sky and I actually believed him.

***

Moonlight seeped through the gaps in my curtains hours later, my body scrubbed raw from a hot shower and my heart a little less heavy. I had found myself back in the safety of my bedroom, the world too dark for me right now. But among the uncertainly, one boy from my past finally arrived to kiss my temple and lie next to me. 

Tony had curled my body against his own that night, my hair splashed against the white pillows and his lips pressed against my temple. We hadn't spoken a single word in what felt like hours, just the peace and calmness falling around us. There were so many unsaid things between us and for once in my life, I couldn't pretend they weren't there.

"Samuel mentioned something about somebody called Fury today," I softly started, my hand drawing circles on my mattress. "He mentioned something about a Avengers Initiative. What's that all about?"

There was a moment of silence before he replied. "It's nothing, just something Fury thought I might be interested in, some kind of program. But he doesn't think I'm right for the job now, apparently I don't work well with others. He doesn't want me in his secret boy band." 

"Oh."

I felt the mattress dip with movement, Tony leaving my side for a split second. There was a gulp of pain just sitting in my chest, begging to be unleashed and while the darkness dulled outside, my deepest thoughts spilled from my lips. "Tony, I didn't want the baby." He paused and I felt his muscles tense. Slowly, I rolled over to face him. With the bright moonlight, I could see his face so clearly and the emotions he was trying to mask. "To begin with, it felt like too much, you know? I couldn't deal with the stress again, one time was enough."

Tony rested back down beside me, his hand curled up against his chest. "It wasn't your fault, Tilda. You can't think like that, okay? The guilt with eat you alive."

"But what if those thoughts actually aided in the baby dying?" I voiced my fears, knowing I sounded a little crazy, but in all honestly, my mind wasn't working correctly right now anyway. "What if the baby knew? What if...I somehow killed her or him without meaning to?"

He inched closer, his fingertips brushing against my lips. "We lost a baby, it's real and it's painful but you can't blame yourself. We might never get over what happened. We'll never know how the future could have panned out with another baby, but we can't let that destroy us. We have to be brave and accept reality. You had a miscarriage, Tilda and it wasn't your fault."

Tears lingered in my eyes but his words soothed a little bit of my soul. "We've still got a future, huh?" I breathed out, liking the way he had spoken about our relationship, about our family. "I wonder what that looks like, Tony Stark."

Slowly, in the moonlight while my head nested against his shoulder, my eyes caught something sparkling in his fingertips. Quickly, my heart was smashing against my ribcage and a brief smile touched Tony Stark's lips as he revealed a sliver ring in his hand. "It looks like this, Tilda Hardings."

- author's ramblings - 

Does that count as a cliffhanger? I dunno, oops. Alrighty, firstly thank you to sublimes for the crazy amazing edit above for my recently editing contest!! Secondly, this is the ending of part three and part four will begin very soon, which jumps a few years and works within Iron Man 3. I know many of you wanted Tilly being pushed into the Avengers movie, but this story was only ever written to span the trilogy of the Iron Man movies, which also means part four will be the concluding part. Please respect my decision regarding that. Anyway, thank you for all the lovely support and stay tuned. 

- tinkertaydust