i'll be home for christmas ➳ zarry

christmas eve will find me

High school

"What the hell is on your sweater Zayn?" Harry asked, his eyes on Zayn's ugly Christmas sweater. 

The music pounded amongst the two and Zayn took a swig of whatever was in his red solo cup. "It's Santa clearly,"

"Obviously," Harry frowned, grabbing Zayn's cup and taking a sip. "But like.. What the hell is on it?"

There was a photo of Santa on it surrounded by elves. The background colour was blue, with hints of green and red. It read Chilling with my Ho, Ho, Homies.

Zayn pointed at the words one by one as he read them. "Chilling with my ho, ho, homies? Get it?" He smiled, and watched Harry cringe.

"That's terrible," Harry took another swig of Zayn's drink. "Let's dance,"

"No, no!" Zayn pointed at Harry's sweater. "What the hell does yours say?"

"Merry Christmas ya' filthy animals," Harry said. "We all know I fucking love Home Alone. So my sweater makes sense. Yours is just plain ugly,"

Zayn ignored and grabbed Harry's hand, spinning him to the music. "Come on and dance with me Harry Styles," He whispered, and even though there was loud music and yelling voices, Harry still heard him.

"I asked you to dance first," Harry frowned, following Zayn into the living room where most were dancing.

Zayn moved along to the beat, and almost grabbed Harry's waist. But he didn't.

He wished he did.

"I know," Zayn shrugged and finished off his drink. "I didn't want to then, but I want to now,"

"Okay Malik," Harry smirked at him.

Before Zayn could do anything else, Niall came running in between them with Jade, the girl from his music class on his arm.

"Guess what we're going to do!" He called, clearly drunk. "I'm going to taste that-"

Zayn cut him off. "Spare us the details Ni,"

Harry shivered at the thought. "Disgusting," He mumbled.

Once Jade and Niall passed, Harry turned to Zayn. 

"Dancing is overrated," He grabbed Zayn's hand and lead him upstairs to an empty guest room.

Locking the door, behind the two, Harry fell back on the bed.

"What do you do during Christmas?" Harry asked Zayn, scooting upwards on the bed so he could give Zayn space to sit.

Zayn shrugged and pulled his shoes off. "One parent is always away on business, so I've been accustomed to having at least less one family member at the dinner table,"

Sitting up, Harry patted the spot beside him. "That sucks,"

"It's okay I guess," Zayn spoke, shaking his head. "I'm used to it,"

"Don't you want to have a family Christmas dinner though?" Harry asked. "Like with everyone?"

"I guess I don't know what it feels like," Zayn said. "It's all good,"

"I'm sorry Z," Harry sighed. "Sit down,"

Zayn was still pacing by the bed as if he was deciding whether or not to sit down beside Harry.

Nodding hesitantly, Zayn sat on the edge of the bed.

"What?" Harry chuckled leaning on side, balancing on his elbow. 

"I have a question," Zayn whispered. 

He felt his heart pounding against his chest.

"Yeah anything," Harry nodded. "What's the question?"

"How'd you know you were gay?" Zayn asked quietly. 

Harry sat up for this one. He was quieted.

"Did I say something wrong?" Zayn spoke, nervous now.

"No," Harry shook his head. "I've just never been asked that question,"

"Should I take the question back?" 

"No," Harry crossed his legs and faced Zayn. "I had crushes on boys. All throughout my life,"

Zayn listened as Harry continued on. 

"I always knew it was just.. Feelings? Like, I didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary," Harry fidgeted with the hem of his ugly Christmas sweater. "I just like boys,"

Harry stayed silent for a moment, leaving Zayn silent too.

"Why'd you ask that?" Harry whispered after a minute.

Zayn still felt his heart pounding on his chest. 

He didn't know what he was doing, he didn't know why he was moving towards Harry, it was as if he didn't have control of his body.

"Zayn?" Harry asked once more, his voice just a tad bit louder. 

Zayn didn't answer, and as his hand shook, he gently leaned forward and into Harry's lips.

He caught Harry off guard, he felt Harry finch back.

He fucked it up. He fucked it all up.

"I'm sorry," Zayn said. He couldn't seem to speak louder than a whisper.

Harry shook his head. "It's okay,"

Zayn sat there. 

Harry did too.

Until Harry leaned in this time, resting his forhead against Zayn's trying to steady his breathing as Zayn cupped the sides of Harry's face.

"I'm going to kiss you," Harry breathed, pressing his lips against Zayn's.

Zayn's hands were shaking against Harry's cheeks and when they parted, Harry put his hands gently on top of Zayn's, giving them a gentle squeeze.

Zayn stayed silent, and as Harry opened his mouth to speak, Zayn shook his head.

"Can I kiss you again?" He asked Harry who silenced him with his love.