33 Percent

Gateway

Gateway

She was smiling, I noticed as we sat opposite each other. She was even giggling as she continued to eat her second plate of cake and that was definitely weird because out of the nine years we had been together, this was the first she finished one whole slice of cake. It’s not like she hated them, she’s just very picky about the flavor and all that shit.

I stared at her with curious stare, “What’s up?”

She turned to me and smiled, “Nothing. I’m just in cloud nine.”

“Are you taking drugs?” I asked seriously but she giggled and hit me lightly. Damn, was she really using drugs? I need to wake her up or worse tell the police.

“No, silly. I’m dating. D-A-T-I-N-G.” She sung happily and I almost burst out the cup of coffee if only I was drinking it but fortunately, I was not. I gazed at her skeptically and inspected carefully if she was lying or not. You could see it if she was since she never looks into your eyes and her guilt is so apparent she’ll admit it the next moment she lied. But, she was showing no signs of that at the moment and I gulped, was she really…with someone?

“You’re…going out.” I stated, “With who?”

She smiled, “Ehehe, secret. I’ll tell you something though. I’ve always had a crush on him since junior high.”

I blinked and thought carefully. She had feelings for someone else other than me and she never told me about that. She always takes care of me and I’m always there for her and we’re always together but I never noticed that she got her eyes set on someone since junior high. Then, what am I to her? What was my nine years of feelings for? I was confused; I’m stuck, for the first time. I stared at her blankly before a grin appeared on her face. She looked so happy and I…didn’t even like it. Inwardly, I sighed before I placed a hand on top of her head and grinned, “Congratulations,” The word came out. Huh, I wonder if I mean that.

I stood up, “I’m going to Chase’s house today. Wanna come?”

She shook her head, “Nah. Walk me home?”

I nodded as she set down the fork after taking her last bite of the cake. Walking out of the cake shop, silence overwhelmed me. I’m not really sure if it was affecting her since she liked it when we walked quietly but it’s unsettling me. There was that undeniably uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and I can’t help but think that this was so wrong. I was acting like a nervous high school girl, dammit.

“You’re not really glad for me, are you?” She spoke sullenly.

I stared at her; she was looking down, “Well, I can’t lie and tell you that I’m happy but it’s not like I’m going to order you around and tell you to break up with him.”

She smiled a little, “I was kinda expecting that though. You know, my middle name’s Stu.”

I blinked and another realization hit me. Right, she thinks that I only thought of her as a pet and a best friend. She never noticed any of those feelings because we had been doing things together for so long that everything seemed normal. Then, was I only the best friend for her? I’ve always liked her though. At first, it really was only as friends but when we entered junior high, it was just different. Ah, so that’s why she never looked at me the same way I looked at her. It was because we were just that…just best friends.

I grinned instead, “Don’t worry about me. As long as you still spend lots and lots of time with me, I learn to accept the fact that you’re growing up.” I turned to her, “You look like you’re growing up though, literary.”

“Really?” Her eyes beamed.

I chuckled, “Nah, I think I just grew small.”

“That’s impossible!”

“Yes it is. Don’t you know that—”

“Blah blah blah. I’m not hearing it.”

I chuckled and placed an armed around her as we walked the rest of the way home. I was kind of regretting things, I guess. Right now, being more than friends is questionable. The gateway was already closed and it was too late before I noticed it had been open for so long and now it shut itself closed in my face. Huh. I’m not giving up though. When the chance arises, I’ll take it and just be done with it. Maybe then she’ll be completely mine.