1. Do I want to kiss Alex?

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New Year's Eve 2015

Jay


I paced nervously around my bedroom and looked at my watch. 3:20 pm. Why was time going so slowly?

I don't think I'd ever felt this way about going out before. And to be honest, I went out most weekends. Meeting my friends, drinking and picking up girls was pretty much my Saturday night routine.

Was it excitement making me feel this way? Or was it nerves? Definitely both. I was excited for the night ahead, but also nervous about how it would play out.

And why is that? Why could I not sit still for more than 10 seconds, and why did my palms feel sweaty every time I thought about what was going to happen tonight?

Because tonight was the night I was going to kiss my best friend.

Oh yes, there's one other thing.......he's a boy.


******************

3:40pm

It was no good, I was going to have a heart attack if I didn't calm down soon.

My room was fairly small so I was starting to get a little dizzy with all the pacing. I lived with my mum in a small 2 bed flat in the "rough" end of town. I couldn't pace round the rest of the flat as my mum was in the lounge, drunk as usual. If I went in there, she would send me off to do another beer run.

I briefly considered whether that would be a good distraction, then quickly changed my mind. I had already bought her extra this week and I needed the money I had left to pay for tonight.

I pretty much dealt with all the money in the house (or should I say flat). I had ever since my dad left and my mum decided to drink herself into oblivion. But that's a story for another time.

Right now though I had to calm down so I did the only thing I could. I lay down on my bed, and thought of Alex.

I shut my eyes and pictured my best friend. He was 5"7 which meant I was much taller at 6"1. He was also quite skinny whereas I was broader and had filled out in the last year, making me look older than my 18 years.

Alex, although only a couple of months younger than me, still looked about 16. I constantly teased him about that, but he just said that it wouldn't be long before I would be jealous of his youthful looks. I knew he was right although I would never admit it.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised how much we were opposites. I was tall, he was short. I had dark brown hair, his was sandy blonde. I was often described as dark and moody, whereas he was always happy and laughing. He was very good looking, and I was ....well, I just didn't like the way I looked. Mainly because I looked like my dad. Although I never seemed to have any trouble hooking up with girls. I suppose that must mean I looked ok. That and the fact that Alex was the best wingman ever!

I guess people would be confused as to why I usually hook up with girls when I am about to kiss my guy best friend.  And to be honest, I'm confused too. Have I ever thought of myself as gay? Honestly, no.   But do I want to kiss Alex?  Hell, yes!   To be honest it's all I've been thinking about for the last year!

Weird?

Yes, probably......but let me tell you what happened last year.


A/N

Welcome to Jay's story.  It's quite a rollercoaster of emotions! Most of the chapters will be from his perspective, but later you will be treated to some other character's thoughts.

I've uploaded my first Wattpad story today as a Birthday present to myself, so please be kind...





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