5. They Didn't Fit

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Jay

September 2010

I had just started highschool and it wasn't going well.

I suddenly realised that things were a lot different from primary school. Kids were a lot meaner for a start.

We didn't have a lot of money. Whatever money my parents got from their benefits, or that my dad got from his 'cash in hand' jobs usually went on food and drink.....and more drink. I was always their last priority and they would often make me feel guilty if I ever needed anything.

They were disgusted by the price of school uniform and so asked the school if they had any spare second hand uniform they could buy for a fraction of the price. Of course it didn't matter to them that the jacket was too big, and that the shirts had lost their white colour and were now a disgusting shade of grey.

It didn't matter much to me at the time. I was used to wearing second hand clothes, but it seemed as though it mattered to others at the school.

"Hey, Jay," a boy with white blonde hair said, as he came over to me with a group of his friends.

"Hey," I said back warily.

"James here was wondering where you got your jacket from. It looks really cool on you," he said as he smirked to his friends.

I looked at him blankly for a second, not sure where he was going with this.

"Arrr, look, you've embarrassed him" said the one with brown spiked hair. He lifted his hand as if to pat my head and I pulled back quickly.

"Eww, I wouldn't touch his hair, he might have lice" said the girl with a ponytail.

"Fuck off" I mumbled at them and tried to walk away.

The boys moved in front of me trying to block my path.

"Where ya going retard?" the blonde one said, "are you worried you might miss a jumble sale?"

I don't know if it was the 'retard' comment or the stupid smirk on the boys face, but I punched him so hard I heard his nose crack.

That was the first of many times I was called to the Head Master's office.

Needless to say, I didn't make any friends in the whole of the year I spent at that school.

I needed to make sure that things were different at my new school.


June 2011

I looked round our new flat and sighed. It seemed claustrophobic after our previous house with a garden.

My mum was already onto her third bottle of wine and wasn't able to walk. So I asked her where she kept her money so I could go and get us some food and supplies.

She pointed to a shoe box in a pile of things that we had yet to unpack. I opened it up and saw a pile of notes sitting on top of some paperwork like bank statements and claim letters.

I took £50 and went off to the local supermarket.

The price of food had gone up recently and £50 really didn't go very far. I looked at the cost of a new pair of shoes and even the cheapest they had I couldn't afford.

It was right there in the middle of Tesco's staring at some cheap shit shoes that I couldn't afford, that I made a decision. I decided that I was going to take control of my own life. I was done with waiting to see how much money was left after my mum had drunk most of it, pleading for even the littlest of things.

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