ambivalence

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The Next Day

(Dee POV)

Dee groans, her frustration obvious as Latto continues to decline her offer. 'Just stop, Dee,' Latto adds.

'You was mad I ain't wanna tell you, now you don't want me to,' Dee complains, tossing her hands in the air. Shit is crazy.

'Cause you not really tryin' to,' Latto replies, adding a gloss to her painted lips. 'I do!' Dee exclaims. Latto spins around, putting her gloss down, 'Then open ya mouth and tell me.'

Dee sputters, forgetting to take a deep breath as she struggles to explain herself after four months.

'Exactly,' Latto mumbles, turning back to her vanity and putting the finishing touches on her makeup. 'Man, stop Lyssa,' Dee whines. 'You always do that, put me on the spot when you know I can't talk like that.'

Latto stops, turning to glare at Dee for a moment before sighing and looking down at her hands.

'I'm sorry,' she says softly. 'I know...I am too,' Dee responds.

Latto stands, sitting next to Dee on her bed. Dee instinctually leans on her shoulder. 'If you don't want to, you don't got to, I won't ask no more,' she adds.

'It's not that,' Dee corrects. 'I just...it's hard to explain when it's a lot of shit you don't know.' She can feel Latto tense at the small revelation. 'Lyssa,' Dee starts. 'Y'all get somethin' for New Years yet?' Latto asks quickly.

'Lyssa,' Dee tries again. 'It'd be cute if we do all white, like the whole crew and get the hats and shit in different colors.' Dee begins to try again but stops, knowing that it's no use. Just let it go.

She sighs, 'Aight, I'll see what I can find. We supposed to be goin' later today to find stuff.' 'Damn, ya'll heifers ain't invite me,' Latto fires as she shoves Dee off her with a chuckle. 'Nah, 'cause we figured you was gon' be all up under Marco,' Dee explains.

'Hmm, you ain't lie,' Latto murmurs with a sly smile. 'Ewwwww,' Dee drawls before they both laugh.

As they continue talking, it begins to feel normal, as normal as it can be. But she can't shake the uncomfortable feeling, as if the hesitance she feels isn't solely on her part.

****

(General POV)

Dee, Jae and Peach search through the holiday section of Forever 21, looking for their own spin on a worthy outfit.

'Latto was sayin' she want us to wear all white,' Dee says over a rack. 'All white top,' Jae mumbles. 'All white belt,' Dee continues. 'All white jeans body lookin' like milk,' they both finish with laughs.

Peach doesn't join, rolling her eyes at their outburst. She continues looking through the rack of dresses, annoyed at her now limited selection. She puts back the red and gold dresses she anticipated trying on with a huff, beginning a new search.

Dee finishes her rack with a sigh, annoyed at the lack of choices. 'I'm probably gon' go find somethin' in H&M, everything all sparkly and shit in here,' she grumbles. 'That's what happens when you shop in a girl's store,' Peach grunts. Dee meets Jae's gaze, both with a confused expression.

Jae looks back at Peach, now ignoring the others in favor of her phones. She takes a deep breath, continuing to find the perfect top to go with the jeans she already has. She finds a possibility and holds it up to ask for an opinion. 'What y'all think of this?'

Dee scrunches her face, 'I mean if you like it but I wouldn't wear it.' Jae takes a second look, examining the sleeveless slitted top for flaws. She holds it back up for Peach, 'What you think, Peachy?'

Peach glances at it and shrugs, resuming her text message. She smirks at her phone, muttering to herself as she replies to the recent message. She goes back to the rack, trying to find a dress. 'Ooh, Peach, this would probably be cute on you,' she hears coming from behind her.

Dee's smile falls as Peach turns to her with a snarl before dropping it for a fake smile. 'I don't wear long dresses,' Peach explains, her sweet voice hiding the venom behind it. 'But you could wear it, might be a good change.'

Dee chuckles, putting the dress back, 'Nah, I'm good. But uh, you good?' Peach shrugs, 'I'm peachy, sis.' She chuckles as she moves to another rack, 'Are you good, boo?' Dee takes a deep breath, rubbing her hands together. 'Aight, uh, I'mma go. 'Cause this shit...'

Jae watches frustrated as Dee storms out of the store. She whips back to Peach, glaring at her as she continues to laugh. 'Guess she not better for real,' Peach suggests carelessly. 'Cause you up here bein' a bitch for no reason!' Jae exclaims. 'Fuck wrong with you man?'

Peach sucks her teeth, dropping her snarky attitude. 'Look, just 'cause you sittin' up there kissin' her ass don't mean I got to. You not tired of watchin' yourself 'round her? Havin' to go and babysit her like she a damn child?'

'That's what friends do, dummy,' Jae growls. Peach laughs again, shaking her head, 'Y'all bitches dumb man.' 'The fu--,' Jae attempts, cut off by Peach's phone blaring loudly. She smirks, not bothering to say goodbye as she starts out of the store.

Jae stands flabbergasted and alone. She grits her teeth, tossing the white shirt on the floor and leaving the store. She quickly dials Roscoe, waiting for him to answer. After eight or so rings, he answers, 'Yeah, what's up?'

Jae frowns, 'Bae, come get me. These bitches gon' make me smack the shit outta them.' Roscoe sucks his teeth and she makes a face, 'Fuck you smackin' yo teeth for?' 'You told me 3 and it's barely 1,' he complains. 'Okay and I didn't tell Peach stupid ass to be a bitch but she did.'

She exits the mall, finding an empty bench and sitting down. 'Just come, please,' she softens. 'Ma ain't gon' be back for like three hours and I'm not tryna be here by myself that long.' He groans but she hears his keys jingle. 'I'mma be there in like fiteeen minutes.'

****

Twenty-Five Minutes Later

Jae rips open the car door, throwing herself down without a word. Roscoe rolls his eyes, sensing the argument to come. 'You told me fifteen minutes,' she says after minutes of silence. 'And there was traffic, you act like I can break the law just 'cause you said so, Jae,' Roscoe defends.

'I ain't say break the law, all I said was you told me fifteen minutes,' she corrects, folding her arms and looking out of the window. 'So? I'm here, damn,' he complains. 'Fuck you gettin' mad at me for, I ain't the crazy bitch that got everybody actin' stupid.'

Jae chuckles angrily, the low chuckle slowly turning into a loud cackle. Roscoe watches, fear slowly starting to reach his eyes.

She quiets down, her leg shaking, biting her lip to keep from speaking. 'J-Jae,' Roscoe calls timidly.

She doesn't respond, her mind in a frenzy as she tries to remind herself how much she loves him, how she didn't have to snap at him, how she was taking her frustration out on him.

'It's whatever,' she finally mumbles, dropping her arms to her lap and staring blankly out of the window.

'Just want this shit to be over,' she whispers to herself, resting her head on the door and closing her eyes.

*
-Bee

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