debauchery *gawsten* ✓

Chapter Twenty

12.29.17
edit: 8.19.20
tw; self-harm mention, eating disorder mention, and abuse mention.
582 words

geoff p.o.v.

i rubbed small circles into awsten's arm, who was asleep in my arms. otto had gone for pacing around the perimeter of the treehouse.

"so to get this all..." otto gestured in circles around his head. "straight, i guess, even though you two definitely aren't-" he snorted and clamped a hand to his mouth.

i rose an eyebrow at him. "seriously?"

otto brought his hand away from his face. he cleared his throat and bit his lip. "sorry. not the time, i know. but i got first-class tickets to an emotional roller coaster. cut me some slack, man."

"what do we know now?" i asked him.

otto held up his fingers as he listed our recent discoveries. "awsten saw you doin' drugs - you fuckin' idiot, by the way. that...triggered him, or somethin' - i don't know how it works, this is all new to me!" his hands flew up to his hair.

"otto, deep breaths." i reminded him. "his dad also abuses him, and his mum died. he self-harms, and he has an eating disorder."

"but we don't know which one." otto added.

i shook my head and repeated him. "we don't know which one, right. so...what do we do?" i added.

"we tell someone he trusts, what else?" otto replied. "i...i'm scared, geoff. i-i don't know how long he'll live anymore..." he allowed a short laugh to escape his lips as he sat down next to me. "it was always like an inside joke when we said that i would die before him...but..."

"i know, man." i mumbled. "but we're here for him, at least. surely that counts for something, right? he doesn't actually feel...alone."

"like i've said." otto sighed. "i don't know anymore."

"awsten hates hospitals, right?" i asked. otto nodded, and i continued. "but your mum is a registered nurse too?"

"doesn't work at the hospital anymore though." otto reminded me.

"right, right. i've been thinking about that. i sort of thought about a solution. your mum could like, get her old job back or something, and then awsten could be like, her assigned patient, and-"

"geoff, geoff, that's quite the stretch. it won't work." otto interrupted. my heart sped up in a flurry to find another solution. "for one, that would be a lot of work, and not just for my mum or awsten. the system just doesn't work like that either."

"so the other option is to just tell her and let her decide what to do for him?" i suggested, but it came out more as a question than a sure decision.

"looks that way to me." otto confirmed. "but when do we tell her? obviously not fuckin' tomorrow because it's christmas for cryin' out loud."

"maybe the day after tomorrow? or the day after that?" i suggest.

"no, not that late." otto shook his head. "i want to help awsten as soon as we can."

suddenly, i felt vibrations on my chest. i paused with my mouth halfway open, causing otto to laugh. i slapped at him while trying not to disturb awsten. "hold on!" i hissed.

otto watched me with an amused look on his face. i looked down at awsten and was surprised to see him looking back at me. i swear to god, i was never going to get tired of looking at the dual-tones.

"pl-ple-ase don't." awsten barely whispered. his voice sounded like it hurt him, which pained my own heart. nonetheless, i was over the fucking sun with his accomplishment. "i'm...fi-ine."