One Year (Narry AU) - Completed

Chapter 5

 HARRY'S POV

I was sitting on my bathroom floor, looking down at a puddle of blood next to me. After I had got home from Niall's, I had immediately gone to my bathroom and found my razor. I was pissed at myself, kissing Niall's cheek like that.

I didn't know what had come over me, it was like my body was acting on it's own while my brain was shouting at me: don't do it. For some reason, it had felt so right and I shouldn't regret doing it, but I did. Niall was gay and I knew it, I had been struggling with my sexuality for quite some time and doing things like these didn't actually help my situation.

I sighed and took care of my cuts, placing a large bandage over them. This wasn't my first time cutting, in fact I had been doing it since that night. Cutting was something that helped me get through times like these, where I had screwed up and didn't have anyone to turn to. Surely I could call Louis, but he wouldn't understand.

I suddenly remembered there was a party at Zayn's house tonight and I knew exactly what I had to do. I would find a random girl and hook up with her like I always did, and that would make me forget Niall's name. I'd end up calling him Neil, Niul even. Perfect, I thought to myself.

"Z, don't steal my beer!" I protested, laughing loudly as my friend Zayn tried to grab a beer bottle from my hand. It was a typical Friday night for us, Zayn having a huge party at his house. It was a tradition for us, throwing a party after the first week of school.

I was getting tipsy after drinking four beers and some shots, Zayn was messing around with a girl I didn't recognise and Louis was nowhere to be found. I was getting bored and started wondering around the house, seeing if I could spot any interesting girls.

I had my own thing going on at parties, first I got drunk and then I found someone worth snogging for, usually at that point I was too drunk to realise I was making out with a girl, so I didn't care about it too much. I could never make out with a girl when I was sober, so I forced myself into it once I was in that state where I couldn't remember my own name anymore.

This evening my plan wasn't working, I didn't feel like drinking anymore because none of the girls excited me. There was no point to be absolutely wasted, if I wasn't going to hook up with anyone. I sighed and made my way towards Zayn's patio where I could be alone with my miserable thoughts. I was irritated when I heard my phone buzzing, someone was interrupting my peaceful moment. However, I smiled when I saw who the person was, Nail Whoren.

I have to ask, do you hate me now?

So it was Niall, who else. I wondered what he was talking about, I had never said I hated him and I didn't have the slightest clue what he meant with that.

Sorry Nail I have no idea what you're talking about – Harry

Me being gay. Everyone at school hates me - Niall

Hate is a strong word, Nail. I don't hate anyone – Harry

Stop calling me Nail – Niall

Make me ;) – Harry

I would if I knew where you are – Niall

Zayn's party, where else? - Harry

Niall never replied to my last message and I quickly forgot about it as I went back to inside, only to find my very drunk best friend.