Rituals for Love ✔

One

Stirring awake, I was greeted by darkness. That's a good sign. That same small voice started to count down. I didn't need a reminder to know what was waiting once she reached 0. I rubbed my one eye as the other adjusted to my moonlit room. Glancing at the clock on my nightstand, I saw it was a little past 3. The normal time, at least this time I didn't wake up screaming. I groaned and rolled to my side, putting my back to the nightstand.

Ten...Nine...Eight...

It was already too late, but I had to make an effort. Squeezing my eyes shut, I hopelessly tired to go back to sleep.

Three...Two...One.

I took a ragged breath. Dread filling my body, I knew what was coming.

Zero. The image of him had planted itself front and center.

The ticking time bomb that is my heart, detonated once again. You would think that after 123 wake ups of this, it wouldn't have me clenching my gray and purple comforter. Or, that they wouldn't leave me breathless and gasping.

Well, you're wrong.

As all the possibilities pounded around in my head. Where he was, or why he left, all took their turn chipping away. My heart took each thought and matched it with breaks, stabs, or drops. I was convinced it would finally just give out, one day soon. Or, maybe it was more liked I hoped it would.

After what felt like an eternity, I became numb, thankfully, that was all my tired and beaten brain needed to slip into slumber. Jokes on me though, if I thought I wasn't going to suffer.

My brain scrambled to keep up with the quick imagines it threw at itself. Nightmares are fun, aren't they? Something got a hold of my sleeping mind and jarred awake. I didn't bother opening my eyes, mainly waiting to see how this played out.

This would go on and repeat itself. Recurring nightmares and night terrors was one of David's parting gifts.

My days were usually spent the same ways as my nights. I could feel my sweat-soaked sheets under my body. Clinging to the back of my neck, feeling gross, I made a plan.

Shower time.

An out of place banging sound came from downstairs. I sighed and covered my head back up.

"Addison!" I could hear Lucy marching up the stairs.

"Yo, Addie!" She banged on my door.

"That's it! I'm coming in. Cover up if you don't want social media to see you naked." My door was all but kicked in.

I just mumbled some nonsense and rolled over, pulling my blanket over my head as I went. I felt hands grip the blanket by my feet.

Oh no, I knew what she was going to do. I curled my body up trying to collect as much of the blanket as I could and hold on for dear life.

Lucy yanked with all her might.

She might as well be a bull; the blanket was ripped off me. I sat up quickly and glared at Lucy.

"Alright, already," I snapped.

"Don't get snappy with me. We had school today." She put my blanket back on my bed in a crumpled up heap.

Well, thanks.

I didn't say a word as I went to my closet and pulled out the first things I saw. None of it mattered, anyway. I went to the bathroom attached to my room. The old floor under me groaned and creaked.

Lucy took it upon herself to join me in the bathroom as I showered.

You're not going to get away from me that easily and you know it." I could tell without looking at her that her hands were on her hips. I couldn't miss the triumph in her voice as she knew I was now cornered.