Rituals for Love ✔

Two

My sleep was abruptly disturbed as I collided with the floor. Groaning with pain and rolling so I could see what caused this. My eyes landed on a very grumpy Lucy. She didn't even wait to see if I was ok before she disappeared from view. I heard her feet connect with the floor. She crossed my room going into my bathroom. 

There was no real chance I was going to be able to sleep now. I mumbled as I collected an outfit out of the closet. Then there was nothing else to do but wait for my turn. 

Loud thudding could be heard from outside in the hallway. Assuming it was my brother rushing off to whatever early college prep session he had this morning. The genius was leaving in a few days for an on location prep school. He won some scholarship or another. 

I haven't been paying much attention lately. 

It isn't long before Lucy exited and I get my turn. Within ten minutes I am out and ready to go. Lucy sighs and rolls her eyes. She still doesn't look pleased with me. Honestly, she can piss off with that because I am not in the mood to deal with that.  We quietly march through the house. 

My parents are long gone. They gave up trying to get me to go to school weeks ago.  I pick up the pace and hurry to the front door.  

The tenison between us builds as we get settled in the car. 

"Earth to Lucy. " I wanted to wave my hand in front of her face but seeing as she was driving, that didn't seem like a great idea. She has been icy since last night. My mom even tried ice cream and some cookies from the "hide from dad" stash,

I huffed and crossed my arms when it was clear I would get no answer. I stared at the window but didn't see anything. I was not looking forward to going to school but I have to try.

My thoughts were guilt-ridden. I was fine with wrecking my life, but I couldn't wreck Lucy's too. I just gave myself one more reason to hate myself over. It was easier to blame David than to take the blame myself. But I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Why was I ever stupid enough to believe that a guy like David would be interested in a girl like me?

That thought banged around my brain, like a wrecking ball. A mudslide of self-deprecating thoughts invaded my ill-prepared mind.

If I would have just walked away from those gorgeous blue eyes, I wouldn't be here now.

You could be out having the time of your life, enjoying senior year.

But, no. You had to go and give your all to a foolish boy, who couldn't return it.

My heart throbbed, telling my brain to shut up.

I shook my head, to clear my mind. We were pulling into the school parking lot. Lucy parked the car in her spot which seemed like it was the very last one.

It wasn't, there were four after her. I hip checked the paint chipped door to slam it shut, the only way to close it firmly, I had to hurry to keep pace with Lucy.

I decided to just head straight to math class, leaving Lucy at her locker.

I put my backpack at my feet, pulled out my notebook and last night's homework. I eyed the clock. I had four minutes until class started.

The teacher still wasn't here though, so I took my time on the first few questions. I could hear Miss Conner's heels clicking down the hallway. I just threw numbers on the page, having wrong answers was better than a zero. At least I had something to turn in today.

I tried to pay attention in class, I really did. However, I ended up not being able to focus. 

My damaged heart decided this was the perfect time to conjure up some emotions. Depression was great like that some times.  Bombarded by images of him, his cologne still lingered in my nose.  My body burned with an ache for him to hold me again.. I did my best to shove all of those emotions back into the box it broke out of.