The problem is that so many times, I have thought: why am I still doing this, why am I still here? Is it worth it? Because all my experiences have ended with me thinking that ending it is maybe the best idea I've ever had. In the end I usually just think. I want to see my baby sister find love and happiness. I want to laugh with my friends at stupid things that we've all done. I want to blush as I have my first kiss.
Right now, when I'm at home I don't know where that happiness is, but when I'm with my friends, laughing, I know I'm in the right place. Unfortunately, the right place doesn't always follow you home to the darkness of the wrong.
I want happiness, but I think that maybe it's like a quest. I can't just sit here and wait for it to come up and slap me in the face.
I need to get out, and make my own haven.
My thought are dark and barricading me in. Is it wrong that I just want to get away from my parents because I feel happiest without them?
YOU ARE READING
live out loud
Poetrya collection of the thoughts that i have that are hard to share 2019 update: basically a book that i update whenever i feel like a worthless human being
