Red vs Blue Season 1: Male Oc

Rvb S1 E2 "Red Gets A Devilary"

Red Base
Down below the base, Leo runs up to Sarge while Grif and Simmons are slowly walking towards them.

Leo: So Sarge any reason you called us Sir?

Sarge: Why yes Leo! But, before I show "her" I need to wait for my (Anger) other lazy soldiers! Hurry up, ladies this ain't no ice cream social!

Simmons: Ice cream social?

Simmons and Grif exchange looks.

Sarge: Stop the pillow talk, you two. Anyone want to guess why I gathered you here today?

Grif: Uh, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?

Leo: (Facepalm) Really Grif?!

Grif: What?

Sarge: (Sarcastically) That's exactly it, Private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, and Simmons here IS IN CHARGE OF CONFETTI!

Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.

Sarge: Goddamn it, Private! Shut your mouth or else I'll have Leo hold you down, while Simmons slits your throat while you're asleep!

Leo: Sarge don't you think that's a bit dark?

Simmons: Didn't Grif steal your Oreos though Leo?

Leo: Nevermind we'll do it Sir!

Sarge: Leo, Simmons your both good men's.

Brief pause.

Sarge: Couple of things today, ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.

Grif: Crap. We're getting a rookie.

Sarge: That's right, dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week, but today we recieved the first part of our shipment from Command.

Sarge turns towards a hill behind them.

Sarge: Lopez, bring up the vehicle.

A large, armor-plated, jeep-like vehicle comes over the rise with another soldier in brown armour called Lopez who's in the driver seat, pulling up along side the other Reds.

Simmons: Shotgun!

Leo/Grif: Shotgun!

Unfortunately they realise they spoke too late.

Leo/Grif: Fuck!

Sarge: May I introduce our new, light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four inch armor plating, mag bumper suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.

Simmons: Why Warthog, sir?

Sarge: Because M12 LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.

Grif: I know, but why Warthog? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig.

Leo: Grif are you hungry again?

Grif: Surprisingly not.

Sarge: Hold up say that again.

Grif: I think it looks more like a puma.