When the Lights Go Down

(XVIII) Until U're In My Arms

     "You just made me the happiest girl in the world." The image of Nahla running through the grassy field, dancing her immaculate ruby with the sunshine, kept running through my mind on the plane.

"How can I get through days when I can't get through hours?" That girl in the white dress was a dream that spawned into a nightmare. In moments I'd go idle, I still wondered what more I could've done to prevent it. We were so perfect. The only thing I could think of, that would've really made a difference, was to keep away from Kat completely.

But Kat had never left my system, not even when I promised Nahla 'forever' under the purple, florid arch. Kat was always a part of me. She knew me better than anyone else, and proved it when she stated my marriage wasn't gonna last. She knew it wouldn't, because she knew we weren't done.

Now, in the clouds, flying to London, I felt a great sense of freedom. No more Kat. I would always love her, but she wholeheartedly was giving her all to another now—the mate to her soul. Denise was far gone from my reach, same as Susannah. And Nahla? It was a beautiful dream for the both of us. Dreams are destined for disruption. They don't last forever.

Being with Lula felt more than right, but it was also something I still struggled with. It wasn't so much the monogamy, it was who she was. So many people openly admired her, so she was difficult to compliment. As a smart, talented businesswoman, she had built a fortune without me, so it was incredibly tough to impress her. Before me, she had lived her own life in her own ways, by her own rules, so she was almost impossible to influence. At times, I just didn't know what to do with her.

For her 28th birthday in May, there was nothing lavishing I could think of. So I gave her what she wanted, which was just a weekend alone with me in Paris. To some, that sounds like a dream and lavishing enough, but it was nothing to Lula. Her mother was French, and born in the "City of Love," so Lula was at home here, and spoke the language fluently. The breathtaking part about those two nights were that we were spending them together.

People saw us. We weren't hiding behind the walls of our hotel. But there were no cameras involved. We both managed to heavily secure ourselves with personnel, yet, make it feel as if they weren't even there. After that trip, I was finally in the mix.