Meet the Big Five

The First Night

(Jack)

I hate Hogwarts.

It's big and enclosed and makes me feel like I'm in a cage. It's everything I don't like. Books. Rules. Hard work and deadlines. Homework. Rooms. I could go on.

Now don't get me wrong, I love kids. Kids are the best part of my job: watching them smile and have fun is like the paycheck of a Guardian.

It's just. . .why do I have to be here? I'm a Guardian. My job is to spread winter and keep the fun alive. And also to get rid of the bad apples like Pitch Black. So if I'm here, who's doing my job?

I should be in Alaska right now, welcoming in the winter.

I asked North this before coming here. In fact, I asked North a LOT of things before coming here.

Me: North, Hogwarts is a school for human children to learn magic. I'm a Guardian. I don't belong there. I've been around for more than 300 years, I can handle things. We've even defeated Pitch. Why on Earth would I need training now?

North: Jack, it is not just training. It is discipline, too. You need to learn that there is more to being Guardian that fun. You need to learn responsibility, too.

Me: How is learning about responsibility supposed to help me create snow?

North: With every job comes responsibility.

Bunny: Stop complaining and just go to the bloody school.

Tooth: Jack, I'm sure you'll learn a lot there. The experience will be absolutely rewarding!

Me: And what about the snow? Who's gonna bring winter? Jamie and the others will miss me and stop believing in me!

North: Pah! We survived without you before Pitch came, it is easy now! Weather is natural.

Me: . . .that's insulting.

Bunny: And don't worry about the ankle-biters forgetting about you. You won't be out of their minds until next Easter, after the big blue you made!

Me: . . .that's worse.

Tooth: Everything will be fine. Just go.

Sandy: (nods)

Me: You guys know that I can't live like a person: sleeping, brushing my teeth, changing clothes, wearing shoes and stuff. And what am I supposed to tell the kids? I have to go to Hogwarts because I've been naughty? They'll get nightmares about the school!

Bunny: No, just tell them you've been a right bludger to everyone you know. Including Sophie and the other ankle-biters. They won't find it hard to believe you.

Me: . . .

North: Jack, you will learn, just how all of us learned.

Me: But I--

Bunny: JUST GO!

Me: . . .you guys are mean.

Tooth: Awww, you're right. (Pause) Wait, Jack?

Me: (hopefully) Yeah?

Tooth: DON'T FORGET TO FLOSS!

(All the Guardians roll over, laughing.)

And so North spoke to Professor Dumbledore about me going to Hogwarts, bought me magic stuff, and had the Yetis deliver me to Hogsmeade Station just before the train showed up. (I'm really starting to enjoy the Intercontinental Red Sack Travels. It's comfortable, and the Yetis are a lot more considerate than before with the portals.)

I didn't expect to make friends on my first day (well, night) here, but Merida and Hiccup are pretty cool. Rapunzel seems nice, too. Dumbledore is great, for a man who told North that "being in Hogwarts would do me good."