10: the truth behind death

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I couldn't trust that he'd leave Li Qin alone if I offered myself to him. Standing my ground, I leveled my eyes with his, unwavering. "Raphael —"

"Raphael can't help you, dear," he interrupted, grin growing wider until it almost split his entire face in half. "That boy doesn't know what's happening. He won't hear you when you scream his name or come to you until it's too late."

My gaze darkened. He was going to be sorely disappointed if he thought I was just going to yield so quickly to him. I focused on his violet eyes, hoping that it would turn black so my pendant would finally do something. "I don't understand why you don't fight the curse," I said. "I don't understand why you let it poison your mind."

His raised his brows, an amused expression on his face. It was close to insanity, the brows raised high and eyes muted of color. "Really, dear? You're asking me that? After betraying Raphael, stripping him of his angelic attributes, and realizing too late that we would all have to fall with you?" He was advancing towards me, the miasma that flowed from him growing darker and darker with every word that he said. "And even after we had forgiven you for all you had done to us, you had tell that disgusting human being about us. You had no idea what he would do, hm? That he would curse us, because he could only see us as demons and nothing more."

My skin prickled, the hair on my arms standing up. There was so much venom in his voice — so much raw hate — that was directed towards me, that I could feel fear start stirring in me. Even though I knew I had done nothing that he accused me of, I still couldn't even open my mouth and protest. A part of me held me back, as if silently admitting that I truly did sin in those many ways.

"But of course, your love for him was stronger than yours for us," he continued. "You didn't care at all what he would do to us. I cannot believe that stupid Raphael still cares enough for you to stay with you. One look at your face, and I can barley contain what I wish to do to you for the lies you've said and the trust you've twisted."

I finally had the will to open my mouth, but nothing came out. I couldn't speak.

"So will you give your life to me to save that boy, or will you selfishly save yourself again, Uriel?"

My heart nearly stopped, the breath that I had been holding escaping my lips in a sharp gasp. Uriel. That name again. Whoever she was, these cursed toys always recognized me as her. Someone they despised more than anything else in the world, heaven and hell combined.

My eyes wavered before the deep violets in front of me, threatening to shatter what was left of everything within me. I could feel my heart constrict, the strings pulling so taut that it would snap if even another bit of tension was added. And perhaps this was true; that I could feel these emotions so genuinely if he was connected to my heart. If I could already feel his emotions so intensely, I didn't want to think about how it would feel when I would finally have to sever him from the curse and ultimately from the living.

"You are testing my patience, Uriel," he said, voice low. "Your answer?"

This close, he made my breath catch at my throat. Not because I was afraid of his jagged grin and twisted features, but because I could not see hate in his eyes, contrary to how he spoke. Those violets were open, perhaps a little veiled from all clarity, but nevertheless still reflective of his true nature.

He was a demon, a cursed one. An angel who fell from his high place in heaven. But there was no darkness in his eyes; only a passive light. I didn't understand how a demon's soul could have such a quality. How someone who appeared so heavy with disdain could show a completely different color inside.

I wished I could reverse his curse; that I could save him instead of letting him fall once again, but there were toys who couldn't be repaired. Toys that were too damaged and hurt that no amount of skill whatsoever could truly bring it back.

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