The Witch's Toy ✔

23: the aftermath of loss

I couldn't remember how long I stood in the shower. The water just kept pouring down, the cold freezing my skin and making me shiver so much I thought I would collapse right then and there.

Closing my eyes, I let out a short breath of air before turning off the water. I stood there, still shaking and dripping wet, recounting what exactly had happened.

Madame Blanc had disappeared the second after she'd declared that Raphael was hers. I'd ran back to the station, lucky that I was able to catch the last train. I'd felt empty during the ride, sitting alone in a seat, my thoughts so jumbled that I could only stare at my feet for the entire time. And when I finally arrived home, my mother had already left, leaving me a note with her current place of residence and apology scribbled onto a piece of paper.

I opened my eyes, hands slack and body somewhat relaxed.

Shouldn't I have felt angry at the moment? If I were the Yu Rui just a month ago, I think I would have gone insane with fury, but I could barely feel anything right now. I let out another breath of air, then stepped out of the shower to dry myself off.

It seemed that I had reverted back to my old cycle.

I pulled a large cotton shirt over my head and left my hair damp without drying it. What was it again? Taking cold showers because I wanted to be pitied? Because the feeling of being wrapped up in warm blankets was almost the same as being comforted by an actual human being?

A soft laugh escaped my lips. I felt my mouth curl just slightly at the edges, turning up in amusement. "You've got to be kidding me. What kind of sob-story are you going to make this now, Yu Rui?"

After turning the heater off, I stripped my bed of all blankets and laid down, still shivering. My body was becoming a little more numb, but I accepted it.

"He was never a human to begin with, anyway."

•••

I could barely drag myself out of bed the next morning. In fact, I left just ten minutes before the first bell rang and ended up getting to school late which resulted to me standing out in the early December weather, lips blue and body frozen as I stared at the closed school gates in front of me. Should I just go back home?

I turned, stiffly taking my first step away, but was stopped when I heard a voice behind me.

"Student Liu Yu Rui?"

I heard the jiggling of a key inside of a lock, a soft click of entrance, and the creak of the school gates opening. Twisting around, I saw the face of my homeroom teacher, a confused look on his face. He was holding a stack of papers and a few folders were tucked underneath his arm. He must have taken the shortcut from the faculty office to his classroom instead of walking all the way around the school.

He beckoned me inside, then promptly closed the gates back up behind me. "Student Liu, your mother just called the school half an hour ago, informing us that you've been sick and won't be coming to school for the next few days." His eyes peered at my face with concern, noticing that I didn't look my best. "I didn't expect you to come to class today."

"I'm... feeling better," I lied. My eyes felt heavy. "I don't want to miss any more school than I already have this semester. Grades are important; I'm just a few months away from graduation."

My homeroom teacher nodded. "I understand, but your health matters more than grades at the moment. You're a good student who receives high marks. I'm not worried about your ability to catch up with schoolwork and perform well on exams. You should —"

My vision blurred for a moment, drowning out his last sentence. I blinked, hand coming out instinctively to balance myself on something.

"Student Liu?"