40: ending note

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As much as I want to thank you for stumbling across this story, I want to thank you for sticking with me throughout this entire year and finishing it with me. ❣️

I'm not the type to plan out a story — usually when I get an idea, I just take it to heart and jump right into it because I get so, so excited to write it haha. So my plots never ever stay the same and everything usually turns out a lot more different than what it was preconception-wise. And The Witch's Toy was no exception.

This was seriously supposed to be a hardcore horror // romance where I try to write in a bunch of creepy as hell scenes while somehow incorporating some side-plot love story into the mix... but haha... none of that happened.

There was a bit of "horror" in the first two (?) chapters, but literally everything after that was just normal stuff. And I originally wanted Yu Rui to "fall in love" with her "love interest," Raphael, but their relationship turned out to be more of a... step past companionship. It's not that they aren't attracted to each other (because there are obvious signs sprinkled throughout the story about them possibly liking each other romantically), but in the end, I just chose to keep their relationship... at the "beginning," if you will.

Obviously, their story doesn't end here though; a bunch of other things happens... Yu Rui actually has a side job as a shaman // exorcist in the future I've imagined in my mind... but I'm also letting you speculate on what happens next going forward to all the demons' return. (:

I'm sure you all hear this from authors, but it feels surreal that this is over. I remember starting this halfway through my last year of high school and continuing it even as university hit me in the face with stress and classes and responsibilities and whatnot.

I've already mentioned this, but I literally almost dropped this entire story altogether. But when I say it's thanks to you all that I was able to continue it, I really mean it.

Ahh! You all are my driving force! ~\(≧▽≦)/~

To claim that all I need is my own love for writing is a lie I've been repeating to myself over and over again. Because yes, I do write for myself, but I also write because I want to entertain others. And you all who stayed by my side gave me that chance to share a story somewhat close to my heart.

There are many times where I've been right in Yu Rui's shoes in terms of all that internal conflict she has. And looking back, there's a lot of chapters that are just so chock-full of angst that I seriously question why I always return to those topics even when I was trying to pave a way of development for Yu Rui past that stage of angst haha.

But then I realize that sometimes you don't have to let everything go in order to get better.

So then, Yu Rui doesn't necessarily let everything go. She understands what her mother and grandmother did, but she doesn't entirely accept their actions in that they are "right" per se. And she doesn't forgive Mina no matter how good of a friend she used to be. In my opinion, crap happens to people. And people suffer. And then there's that one percent who can forgive and forget and the other ninety-nine who can't. And I, guiltily, fall into the latter. Yu Rui just happens to be that one percent as well.

Sometimes I beat myself up for it. And I always tell myself I have to be better. That I have to get better and be kinder or nicer or whatever.

But then again, no matter how cheesy, people can't be perfect and they can't be without flaws.

Obviously, we can work on those flaws and getting rid of them, but I don't think it's necessarily true that someone can fully banish all their flaws and bury them like they were never there.

Anyway — ahem — I'll stop my rant there because I'll go on and on about this kind of thing for forever.

I've finished The Witch's Toy, but that doesn't mean I'm not some writing haha. I've had another idea for a novel circulating in my mind for a while now. And I'll definitely be taking a little more time drafting it before I publish the first few chapters (because I don't want to have to go on a hiatus if I don't have to). It's going to be somewhat of a "retelling" of Alice in Wonderland — something that I literally have been wanting to do for eons.

Since I've never written a proper fantasy longer than a short story, I'm going try my hand at it! (:

I hope you all will join me there in a few months. ~

And, of course, to those of you who may be struggling with classes, struggling with something physical or mental or anything in between, I hope it doesn't get to you. I hope that you'll be able to push back — no matter how difficult — and tell yourself that all that effort is worth it. It might not feel that way, but trust me when I say it will. It's advice you've all heard before that I maybe sound like a broken record, but still. ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و I want you to be truly happy in the very end — however you define what true happiness is. Because not a lot of people actually reach that point, but you potentially can if you're still alive. ❣️

xx Ella

from: Howl's Moving Castle (one of my faves!)

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from: Howl's Moving Castle (one of my faves!)

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