prettymuch: imagines.

blue - brandon

lower case intended 

we've broken up and now i regret it. i said goodbye when i shouldn't have said it. i even cried but i never meant it and i don't know why but i can't forget it. 

-

You've been staring at your phone for over ten minutes now wondering what would happen if you dialed the now engraved numbers into your phone. You didn't miss him and you didn't want him back but you didn't want to feel blue anymore. 

-

give me love, give me dreams, give me a good self-esteem, give me good and pure, what are you waiting for? give me everything, all your heart can bring something good and true. i don't want to feel blue anymore. i don't want to feel blue anymore. 

-

The phone was now ringing and you must've zoned out and retreated back to old habits. You bit your nails and waited as it kept ringing. You were sure he would ignore your call but proved you wrong when his familiar voice filled your ears. 

"Hello?" he answered his voice deep and raspy. 

"I miss you." you lied. You heard his breath hitch and a small sigh escape his lips. "You always made me feel loved. You're my everything." the lies seemed to escape your lips as the seconds went on but you didn't feel guilty. You just didn't want to feel blue anymore. 

- 

no, i don't love you. no, i don't care. i just want to be held when i'm scared and all i want is one night with you. just cause i'm selfish i know it's true. 

- 

"I miss you too." he answered. You heard the smile in his voice but you had felt so numb from your own pain that you had no remorse. "Come over." You smiled slightly knowing that you had successfully won him over; at least for the night. 

"I'll be over in ten." you spoke softly into the phone. You heard him chuckle slightly before hanging up and went to get yourself ready before leaving your apartment. You jogged over to your car hugging your sides to shield yourself from the cold air. You unlocked your car and got inside quickly starting the car. You listened to the radio softly until his song came on causing you to turn it off almost immediately. You just didn't want to feel blue anymore. 

- 

i'm sick of looking after you. i'm bored of everything we do but i keep on coming back to you. 

- 

You knocked on his door softly almost hoping that he wouldn't hear and leave you in the hallway but that half of you lost when you were faced with his raven hair and glasses that were slipping down his nose. He half smiled and you tiredly looked down at his lips. You smiled softly wondering if they still felt the same but you pushed that thought to the side. He moved to the side allowing you in. You slowly walked into the warm apartment that you had missed. You examined the room and saw that nothing had changed since you left. The neon sign in the corner that read open 24 hours a day, the purple throw blanket was still nicely placed over the head of the couch, along with the broken chair in the kitchen but what caught your eye was the night table that stood next to the couch. You walked over and saw a picture frame filled with pictures of you and him from the time you got coffee together while staying up late studying for finals to the time where your friend snuck pictures of you two making out. Your feet gave out underneath you and you could now feel the rough carpet that was once under your feet scraping your knees. You just hated feeling blue anymore. 

- 

i just want to know who i'm looking for. give me anything but blue. 

- 

You instantly felt Brandon next to you rubbing your back and holding you closer than you thought possible. Your walls were tumbling down again and you hated this feeling more than anything. He whispered things you couldn't comprehend into your ears as he rocked you back in forth trying to calm you down. Your cheeks were wet with tears and you could taste the salt in your mouth from the amount of crying you were allowing to happen. You began to wipe your eyes furiously before looking into Brandon's eyes waiting for something, waiting for anything. He leaned in slowly as if waiting for your permission until you closed the gap between you. Your brain was cursing you for letting this happen again and wanting nothing more but to delete him from your life but your heart was telling you to let down your walls and give in but the stubborn part seems to always win. You let go of his neck quickly and ran across the room and into the kitchen putting yourself into the corner before moving your head into your hands and sliding down the wall. You felt footsteps coming closer to you before you felt your hands being lifted away from your face. He stared into your eyes for a long time before speaking. 

"What do you want y/n?" he slowly asked. 

"I don't want to feel blue anymore." you whispered out. 

"Then don't." 

-

okay so if you didn't understand the point of this then i'll explain it real quick. okay, so you are fighting your emotions. there is some person in your life convincing you that brandon isn't good for you that you start to believe it yourself but whenever you're around him it gets harder for you to still think he's bad for you. so it's pretty much (woohoo) an inner battle with your heart and what people have told you is right. 

anyways, i kinda wanted to make a darker of a fic so here you go!!!

- camden kuwonu