comparison ~k.v.~

chapter 1

(author's note: in this story, kendall is fourteen and ryleigh is fifteen. a little age change to fit the situation. also, expect some explicit language. if that makes you uncomfortable, please leave. lowercase intended.)

kendall stares at herself in the bathroom mirror.

she rubs her pink cheeks, stretches her chapsticked lips taut, picks at her acne-scarred chin, and widens her baby blue eyes.

yep. ryleigh was definitely prettier.

ryleigh, her older sister by only seventeen months, is taller, thinner, tanner. she has flawless skin, sharp cheekbones, nicer lips (kendall had to admit, all three vertes girls had gorgeous full lips), and deep green eyes. she knows how to apply makeup and wear hot clothing. all the cute boys go after her if there is a choice between kendall and ryleigh. she doesn't have panic attacks every time she goes to a school dance. she isn't awkward and actually goes out with her friends and does not own a single cardigan.

kendall glances down at her olive-green cardigan, which ry had made fun of her for wearing. she likes this cardigan.

sometimes kendall just wants to end it all. to take a pair of scissors and slice up her skin, or to cock down a full bottle of ibuprofen. but she knows it will only bring pain, and that is why she doesn't do it.

whenever the vertes family goes out to a party of one of jill or erno's friend's (minus charlotte, who is at college and who kendall misses so damn much.), kendall is always the one to find a bathroom to hide in, away from the crowd on her phone or reading or something.

crowds make her anxious.

her parent's friends always have children her age, but they take no interest in her - the only vertes daughter they want to meet is ryleigh: pretty, funny, hot ryleigh. ryleigh who kisses boys and doesn't wallow in her room. ryleigh.

but kendall is the one who doesn't get into trouble, and has good grades. kendall doesn't have a secret boyfriend, doesn't complain or argue. kendall is a good child who doesn't ask for much. so consequently, not a lot of attention is paid to her.

she wishes she could banish the jiggle on her tummy and have it flat and toned, like her sister's. she wishes her cheeks wouldn't be so fatty, and slim down to her sister's contrast. she wishes she was as beautiful as her.

she knows it's an awful thing to think, and that there are people in the world who are starving and sick - but she can't help but succumb to a little vanity every once in a while.

she tears herself away from the mirror and gathers her knees together. she is wearing plaid pajama bottoms and an old dance shirt and the cardigan. ryleigh is at a party with her best friends bertie and jeanmarie. a tear skids down kendall's cheek,

kendall is at home. reading eleanor and park. ryleigh likes to read, but only popular things like the fault in our stars.

kendall scrubs away the tear and brushes her teeth. she'll forget about it by morning anyway, when her beautiful sister comes traipsing home.