comparison ~k.v.~

chapter 12

jared taps on his phone. "do you see anyone for," he lets himself think, to the annoyance of kendall, "this?"

kendall shakes her head. "i shouldn't have ever told you. i know! i'm just an attention-seeking idiot with a self-diagnosed condition which probably isn't even real." she stabs her treat with the spoon.

jared gets on his phone. "okay, we're researching this: symptoms of anxiety." kendall is shocked. "are you seriously doing this?"

he ignores her. "it's loading, loading, loading. here! symptoms of anxiety: surge of overwhelming panic, feeling of losing control or going crazy, heart palpitations or chest pain, feeling like you're going to pass out.
trouble breathing or choking sensation. sound right?"

kendall nods timidly. "but that doesn't tell me whether i have a disorder or not. some people might just have anxiety attacks."

"i'm going on a website." jared replies. "hmm, it says there are 6 major types of anxiety disorders..." he scrolls down and looks up. "anything really tragic happen to you as a kid?"

"of course not." kendall says.

"is your anxiety ever unexpected?"

"not really?"

"fear of crowds?"

"sorta."

as he silently reads down the website, kendall wonders why she is still here with this boy. thankfully no one from their grade has come in. if they did, jared would probably duck down so they wouldn't see him hanging out with a loser. kendall twists her shirt.

"well," jared says, scooping another mouthful in, but not looking up from his phone, "from what the website says, you just might be a worrier-"

"see!" kendall remarks, interrupting him.

"or you might have generalized anxiety disorder. it says 'anxiety related to GAD often shows up as physical symptoms like insomnia, stomach upset, restlessness, and fatigue.' do you ever get sick because of anxiety."

"well," kendall replies, smoothing her thumbnail. "i was sick yesterday because i had a bad anxiety attack and i had an upset stomach, and i was tired, and i also can never go to sleep..." she trails off.

"it also says anxiety runs a GAD sufferer's life." jared says sullenly, and puts down his phone.

kendall looks out the screen door of the shop apprehensively.

"kendall." jared puts his hands on her's, which draws in her attention. "does anxiety control your life?"

kendall thinks hard.