CHRONICLES OF LARRY

Chapter 5. Night Changes

Songs for this chapter are :

Call me - Nav & Metroboomin
Him & I - G-Eazy, Halsey
IDGAF - Dua Lipa

Comfortable silence is so overrated - HS.

Author's Note
So before I go on with this chapter, I've decided to write this note first. I feel like the previous chapter is one of those chapters where nothing really happens.
I'm sorry about that and I promise to put some more plot development on this chapter.
Bear with me and keep reading and voting.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate you all:)

Harry's POV

Its one week after I've been discharged from hospital. I'm fully recovered now but the boys chose to stick around in my NY condo ,still treating me like a piece of fragile  pasta.

Me and Louis have pushed the serious talk away but I can't say  it's not bugging me.

So when Louis comes down to join me in the kitchen, I decide that the time is now.

"Hey haz, what are you cooking?" He says before I gather the right words to use.
"I've put a tray of lasagna in the oven. You hungry?" I ask him.
"Always" Louis tells me with a smile,which of course I return sheepishly.

We engage in a silly conversation about Pokémon as we wait for the lasagna.

The oven beeps and it's finally ready.

Louis helps me set the table and I shout to Niall, Zayn and Liam that food is ready. They're in the living room playing video games.
They join us and we have one of those warm family dinners where everyone is hungry and miraculously in a good mood.

After dinner, I begin to clean up and Louis offers to help. The rest go back to their video game.

"We still need to talk about things Louis" I tell him.
He looks at me like he has been expecting to say that all night. "Yeah we do"he simply says.

I can't figure the tone of his voice but decide to go on anyway.

" What really happened to us Louis? We stopped taking to each other after the band, did you stop caring as well? "I ask
" Why don't you tell me, Mr moving on? "he says harshly.

I'm shocked that he thinks I moved on. How could I possibly move on from him? He's my entire world for the life of me.

" I don't know Louis. Haven't you got a son yourself? How could you accuse me of moving on when you're the one making babies with other people? You didn't think I would be a good parent? Is that it?" I ask without thinking of how stupid I sound and I swallow the lump rising in my throat.

"Harry you know that is not it. Having a baby with Brianna has nothing to do with our relationship. Do not compare yourself to anyone that I've ever been with because there is no comparison. I'll always carry a torch for you in my heart"

"It sure feels like comparison to me. You just gave up on me and started going out with Brenda." I feel slightly bad for not saying her name right.

"Brianna Harry. That's her name. It's a really long story and I'm not sure if now is the time to tell it. I was in a really  bad place Harry. After I lost my mom I was so mentally unstable and it scared the shit out of me. I wanted to call you and talk to you so bad but I just couldn't.
Not because of pride, but I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. I was miserable for days until I run into her one day. I was drinking at a bar with my  Aoki when she came and sat next to us. That was pretty much the beginning of everything which just happened so fast.
She filled up the emptiness in me. Yes I could talk to my sisters about mom, but they were also at loss. I had to be strong and be there for them. I had to be the one comforting them, and not the other way round.
Brianna became my escape from all the sadness and emptiness in my life. Being with her had nothing to do with you. "

I look at Louis with tears in my eyes as I process all his words. I didn't know he had it so hard the entire time.

I try to find my voice again." Louis I'm really sorry about you mom. I didn't know how you felt all this this time. I wish I was there for you. I'm really sorry for not being there. Maybe one day you'll forgive me?"

Louis looks at me like a just grew another head and I swear I don't see anything close to forgiveness in his eyes.

" I don't know Harry, I have a kid to raise and look after "

I don't know whether it's his voice or what he actually says, but I feel the blow. Real pain. That's what it feels like.

"So there really is no time and energy for us to together between your parenting?"

"How could you ask something like that like it's so easy to jump right back in to the way it use to be with us Harry? What is wrong with you? Hasn't the time apart taught you anything?"

"I'm just a hopeless romantic Louis. Can you blame me for still having hope for us? I haven't gotten you out of my mind once since the day you showed up in the hospital."

"You're three years too late Harry"

Ouch.

When Louis tells me this, I can't take it anymore and I feel the warm tears flowing down my face. I look at Louis and I can't recognize the person standing in front of me. He looks so bitter,so unforgiving.
Has he been masking his feelings the entire this week week? I have time to wonder between my tears.

This must be how losing a spouse to death feels like. Only that Louis is not dead, he just wants nothing to do with me.

I don't know what I expected from him but this surely is not it.

Didn't he tell me that our souls will forever love each other? Didn't he tell me your ghosts will even find each other in the afterworld?

I can't stand here crying anymore. Without another word, I take my stupid phone, go up the stupid stairs to my stupid room and bang my stupid door.

Part of me expects him to follow me and my insides die a little when he doesn't.
Christ why am I so stupid! Why did I have to wait for three years to tell him this?

I remember the tattoo on his fingers and wonder why he did it when he claims not to want me.

We're in the same house but he feels so far away.

Just how fast the night changes.

Author's Note.

Finally they had the talk. Louis is not having it though:(

I hope everyone's having a great weekend. Mine's quite alright.

Also, did you see Millie Bobby Brown at the SAG Awards? She was so stunning in that pink dress! I literally can't wait for season 3 of stranger things.
Btw, which one do you prefer between stranger things and the end of the fucking world? I ran a poll on Twitter and stranger things won. Share your opinions though. I love both of them so much.
I'll update again soon :)

Love, Jenny