How to be Forever Alone [#Wattys2020]

2.

I bet you can guess how my first day at university went. It was amazing! Not.

Yeah, it was worse than I even expected.

It started with me at least trying to make an attempt at being a good student. I sat in the first row of this giant classroom. The gray folded up seats went up about twenty rows, they were all inclined.

No one sat beside me and it was kind of nice. I didn't want to bother trying to make a friend today. Just being here was stressful enough.

My professor walked in five minutes late and he looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep in a few days. He walked a little hunched over and kept trying to fix his very thin framed glasses. Slowly, he placed his papers on the wooden desk at the front of the class.

Finally, he looked like he was going to speak. He went to say his first word but instead sneezed and wiped his nose with the end of the sleeve of his gray tweed blazer. Gross.

"Sorry for my tardiness," he says quietly as ever.

What the hell did I sign up for? I just sighed and sucked it up.

"Had a little trouble finding the classroom." he continued, "Welcome to Beginner Accounting. I'm excited to spend the next eight months with you."

I highly doubted he was excited. I knew I wasn't.

I imagine that he's probably never done anything exciting in his entire life. Maybe he tried cheating on his wife once, but I'm sure he would never go through with it.

Then again, I could be completely wrong. He could have some sort of double life. Skydiving in the Caribbean, on Saturday, before having a romantic dinner with his twenty-something girlfriend in Italy. Then somehow get back in time for class on Monday.

Shit. What if he does do that?

It would be quite a surprise if he did do all those things. And looking back on my life now, I'm the most boring person in the world.

Even... whatever his name is-

"I'm Mr. Miller," he says.

Mr. Miller here has a life. He's probably hopelessly in love with some remarkable person.

And I'm back to square one. All on my lonesome...

That night, I sat at my desk in my bedroom. I had pencils and paper scattered all around it. I shoved them all off to the side so that I could have a place to put my laptop.

Sometimes I feel like I should really be more organized, but then there's life and procrastination, and I have no will power to actually take care of stuff so small.

It had only been two weeks since I had seen her, but I was already missing Karmen. She has this kind of presence that when she leaves you can't help but wish that she was still there. Plus, she usually had the answer to every little problem that could exist.

I sat there staring at my screen debating whether I should give her a call. But she could be busy and I didn't want to disturb her.

Yes...No...Yes...

I guess it's now or never. My right index finger was seconds from left clicking my mouse. Of course, she would be the one to call first.

Karmen's profile picture popped up and I answered. She was all smiles and had her curly brown hair up in a ponytail, where it bounced around freely.

"Girl, I've missed you," she says.

"I'm not surprised," I reply.

She sighs, "You're supposed to say that you've missed me too."